C h a z z W r i t e s . c o m

See all my books at AllThatChazz.com.

02/22/2013 • 10:00 AM 4

Venture Galleries cover design award: Higher Than Jesus wins best hardboiled mystery

COVERCONTEST-BESTCOVER

makes great book covers.

Hire him to make your next book cover.

Filed under: awards, book marketing, Books, Awards, best cover, best cover design. venture galleries award, hardboiled, mystery novels

02/19/2013 • 12:29 AM 2

Writing and Production Schedules: What it looks like

This week…

1. I’m writing a non-fiction, instant ebook. It won’t be more than 10,000 words. I had 5,500 the first day and I’m finalizing it now. The turnaround time in total will be one week. Why? Because I found a topic I’m excited about. People will benefit from knowing more about the subject and use it to expand their businesses. One more day of research and writing and another bit of interviewing should do it. More on this soon. It’s also fun, and how rare is that?

2. I still have two books of fiction in production. One is the next Hit Man novel and the other is a massive post-apocalyptic tome. Two to three thousand words a day on these has to happen to make my plans move forward according to schedule.

3. With the help of my friend, Dave Jackson from the School of Podcasting, a new website for a new podcast is born. Details to follow once the website is prettier and filled out and curvy in the right places. This is just the beginning, though I think we’ll have a few podcasts up soon.

This will be an interview show, unedited and bouncy. I’ll talk to cool people for about half an hour about their businesses, their books and their lives. Think of the coolest person you know. Email me their contact information at expartepress@gmail.com. They could be a future guest.

4. Coordinate with my graphic designer, Kit Foster of KitFosterDesign.com for podcast and cover art. Don’t have to budget much time for this. Kit knows what he’s doing without me sticking my big nose in.

5. I’ll also have to get a new blog theme going and generate content for the new website. I’ve explored different options for a recorder for Skype interviews. Fortunately, Dave saved me some money by suggesting Call Recorder for that job. I recommend Hover for your website registration needs. They’re easy to deal with and there is no hard up sell of services you don’t need.

6. Record the original podcast, All That Chazz in a few days. Yes, All That Chazz will continue. These next nine months in particular are going to be a little more furious than usual. We’ll see what’s born at the end of that gestation period, literature-wise.

This week it’s another reading from Higher Than Jesus and I really don’t know what else yet. When I put my mind to it, something will come. Something always does come along. I hope it’s funny in the right spots for the right reasons when it arrives.

7. I’m going to resist an exhaustive listing of the rest of my to-do list because it’s mostly the mundane stuff everybody has to do. Sometimes I do actually write “floss” (so I will floss) and “brush teeth” because it feels great to cross an item of that damned list so easily.

When I get tired, I dip into Cormac McCarthy’s No Country for Old Men and remember what really great writing feels like. It spurs me forward.

I’ll get it all done. C’mon. Write your way to happiness with me.

#Podcast: Night & the City Edition (allthatchazz.com)
The Ticking Clock Edition (allthatchazz.com)
Podcast Hosts Told to ‘Cut Out the 4th Grade Fluff and be Professional’ (prweb.com)
Listen and Learn: A Guide for Creating Energized Podcasts (contentmarketinginstitute.com)
Seven tips about book marketing very few will heed (chazzwrites.com)
Podcast: Furious! (allthatchazz.com)
Author Platform: Problems, Solutions & Stuffed Speedos (chazzwrites.com)
What will you make of 2013? Help is on the way. (chazzwrites.com)
TOP TEN: Reach more readers with these blog tweaks (chazzwrites.com)
Podcasting 101 for Content Marketers: An Interview with The Podcast Guy, Dave Thackeray (contentmarketinginstitute.com)

Filed under: author platform, blogs & blogging, getting it done, All That Chazz, books, call recorder, Kit Foster, kitfosterdesign.com, Literature, new podcasts, new websites, Podcast, Time management, writer, writer's schedule, writing

02/14/2013 • 4:43 PM 1

Excellent post from Douglas Corleone on Algonquin Redux. I feel this and sympathize. How about it? Do you feel isolated and hopeless sometimes, too?

Filed under: publishing

02/12/2013 • 1:03 AM 7

Blog comment rules and how to become Batman

Rules? For renegades and free thinkers? Isn’t suggesting blog comment etiquette for people like us antithetical to our natures? No. Even badasses like us have a code we live by. The modern Ronin do not have lords we serve, but in our hearts, we are still Samurai. The Internet is the Old West, but even Texas had expectations of how people should conduct themselves in public.

What spurred this post

Sometimes I notice comments that afflict bloggers. This isn’t about me, by the way, you’re all awesome. However, those negative commenters irritate me. I’m not talking about Internet trolls. Trolls should be ignored completely. I define a troll as anyone who says something nasty enough that, without the protection of anonymity and distance, they’d be walking away from the conversation with a bloody nose.

Today I’m talking about nasty people who think they’re contributing to a conversation but mostly they’re stirring up feelings of anger and resentment. They might even have a point buried deep. Unfortunately, logic was obscured because they were dicks about it. They are Negative Nancies, full of condescension, who offer no transcendence. Criticism is best delivered quietly, preferably buffered by a gracious comment on either side to cushion the blow.

So what’s the rule?

It’s what Mitt Romney got so horribly wrong in the last election. It’s a rule in comedy and in commentary that has stood the test of time:

PUNCH UP, NOT DOWN

Meaning?

If you must make fun of anyone, mock your betters. Comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable. Speak truth to power. Stick it to the Man. Harsh words should be measured out in proportion to the crime. For instance, no, you should not suggest that genocide and smoking marijuana deserve the same punishment. Self-monitor and — man or woman or transgendered — don’t be a bitch.

How do you know for sure you’re a bad comment offender?

When you mock the helpless or powerless or disrespect people who are trying to help you, you’re being a dick. If you go through life assuming everyone’s an idiot but you, bingo! If you’ve used the sentence, “I’m just being honest,” more than once in any given week, you’re undoubtedly the problem.

You’re not adding to the conversation because you’re not interested in free expression for others. You’re not listening, but you want to be sure we all hear you. You’re not pausing to understand before rushing to make us understand what a smart person you are. If it’s your secret wish that we all bow before you…okay, bad example. We all want that. However, if you actually do find a mistake and seize on it with smug, smirking glee? Warning!

Confirm your blind love of self here: You find a mistake of “your” mixed up with “you’re”. Do you assume it’s a mere typo or do you assume the person who made that mistake really doesn’t know the difference? Now try “just being honest” with yourself.

If you’re part of the problem, you have options.

1. Zip it and realize you don’t have to utter an opinion about everything. If you’re right and we are all idiots, you’re an idiot for associating with us. Consider scuba diving as a profession. You’ll have less of all that nasty human interaction.

2. Work on your social skills. I recently went out of my way to appear especially nice when I otherwise wouldn’t. No one can tell the difference if you do it ironically and, oddly enough, acting nice put me in a better mood. It felt good to pretend and, if I acted nice and came to feel good about it…wait…maybe I really was nice? Oh my god! We are what we do! We become what we pretend to be! (I am Batman…I am Batman…I am Batman!)

3. A person’s blog is their home and their home is their castle. Don’t say anything in a comment that would land you in the dungeon and chained to a wall drinking molten lead if you uttered it to the king or queen in person.

4. If you can’t be polite for us, do it for you. You’re hurting yourself. When someone is mean to anyone in particular, I check out their links, their blog, their book or their business. I do so not so I can buy their product or service because I’m struck by their brilliance. I want to remember them so I won’t buy anything from them. Voting with your buck may be the only vote that really counts for much, so vote for civility.

5. If you feel you must say something worthy of the dungeon, stop and reconsider. Is it your business to correct them? Are you being helpful or is this about the joy of gloating? For instance, get on Facebook and call somebody out on a mistake on their blog for all to see and your sin is worse. You aren’t acting like much of a Facebook “friend”. Consider sending them a helpful email and let them know you think they made a mistake privately.

6. If you don’t have anything nice to say, you know the drill. However, if you have transgressed and you want to reform, apologize to a human and go pet a dog. Say something nice to someone. They’ll probably think you want something from them. Shock them by walking away without a single acid criticism. Like Dalton says in Roadhouse, “It’s nice to be nice.”

For the afflicted bloggers:

A. Moderate your comments so commenters feel your blog is a safe place to express themselves as long as everyone stays civil. This does not mean everyone has to agree with you. It’s not free speech and opinion we’re trying to stamp out. It’s name-calling, unreason and harsh comments that hurt feelings. Don’t dumb down your blog with comment moderation. Elevate the tone of the conversation and encourage more conversation by setting that helpful atmosphere of civility.

B. There’s a theory that controversy on a blog will make it more read. That’s true. We will read more. Who here doesn’t read JA Konrath’s blog? (I do recommend Konrath’s blog, The Newbie’s Guide to Publishing, anytime. He can be cantankerous, but he’s not illogical and he is helpful. I find him funny, especially when he’s angry, but maybe that’s my daddy issues talking.)

However, in most cases, unless someone is a clear victim in a word skirmish, it’ll probably just give you stress without yielding more sales. I’ve seen many blow ups. Conflict is passively interesting, but I’ve never bought anything because of a flame war. Some bloggers seem bent on being negative for its own sake, without the substance. That doesn’t works. If you’re going to be constantly pissed off and kicking, you have to be twice as smart and funny as you are mean.

I do know of one blogger who sold a lot of books stirring up controversy and even started negative memes about himself. He now seems to regret that strategy and is trying to reinvent his brand. His rep seems to have negatively affected his life personally. I don’t think many of us have the willpower and natural predisposition to tell the world we’re jerks, loud and proud.

I’ll tell anyone I’m a contrarian, but that’s different. I’m punching up, not down. You know my motto: Question Authority before Authority questions you.*

C. Many blogs have the option of a star rating on each blog post, independent of comments. Delete that option. I did. I don’t see how to take the star grading system off blog comments, but since no one uses that, no harm, no foul. Grading posts contributes nothing to the blog. Mostly, you’ll get four or five-star ratings, anyway. Occasionally, some anonymous coward will click one star but leave no comment. You’ll be left bewildered what they objected to.

I rarely feel I have to deny a negative comment here. We’ve got a good thing going on with a lot of nice people. You’re all sexy butterflies and I thank you for reading ChazzWrites. However, any website that gets decent traffic will always attract the odd ugly moth. When that happens, I burn them before they come to light.

*Therefore, you know I’m making suggestions here, right? I’m not aiming this diatribe at anyone in particular and certainly not at anyone who is powerless in the world. I mention this to remain somewhat adorable in the face of knee-jerk critics. There, I think that should assuage the skeptical. As for the champions of unreason, who cares?

Playing Nice in the Blogosphere (notthehardestpart.wordpress.com)
10 Reasons I Won’t Comment On Your Blog (dadblunders.com)
8 Places You Should Promote Your Blog to Get More Readers (blogs.constantcontact.com)
Science Proves That Trolls Ruin Everything (escapistmagazine.com)
5 types of blog comments you should never write (prdaily.com)
How an Internet Troll Thinks [INFOGRAPHIC] (socialmediatoday.com)

Filed under: blogs & blogging, Blog, blog comments, blog moderation, blogging, good comments, speak truth to power, writer, writing

02/08/2013 • 10:55 AM 5

#VINE: A new way to use #VIDEO to get new readers & listeners

Tips and inspiration for the indie author’s journey to publication.

What’s Vine? It’s video Twitter. Make a six-second movie and spread your word. I’m all over this and I’m telling you now as your fellow author and good buddy, get in early. Not a lot of authors are there yet, so join me, join the fun and build your platform, too. It’s a fun tool and toy. We need tools like this to muster more promo mojo and muscle our way into minds. I’ll explain why we need Vine to build our book cults.

I’ve used Vine so far to let people know about my podcast and books, but also just to let people know I can be witty in six-second bites. I hope they’ll conclude I’m worth more of their time in other media. (Oh, and not for nothin’, the new free All That Chazz podcast is gripping. The What’s Uncool Edition is available to your ears here and now.)

Why video? Video and audio are easier for people to consume than books. Yes, there are still actual readers out there, but to stick a barbed hook in an eyeball, we have to reach out to them where they are. If rabid video consumers aren’t already readers, don’t complain. Convert them to your cult.

I expect objections from a few.

There’s a neo-Luddite reflex in many authors that says:

1. “I shouldn’t have to do this!”

Waaah! I don’t want to floss, either. However, I like my teeth. Besides, if you do it right, marketing and promotion can actually be fun and productive.

2. “Here’s another piece of technology that takes us away from books!”

Here’s another piece of technology to attract new readers to your books.

3. “Video is the death of literature!”

Video is another medium. People who really love reading books will still make time for reading books.

4. “Real book lovers won’t be watching six-second video loops of cats playing.”

Have you ever met a bibliophile? Your demographic loves cats to the point it may be unhealthy. “Real” book lovers have varied interests because, mostly, they’re intelligent.

5. “This is yet another promotional thing to spam and annoy people.”

Not if you’re clever and fun. (Are you saying you aren’t clever and fun? Get off my blog! You can’t possibly be a friend or fan of mine!)

6. “I don’t know…sounds hard.”

Check it out. It’s easy, intuitive and took the shortest time to set up than anything else I’ve ever set up. Vine is definitely worth the minor time investment and it’s free. You will need an iPad, iPhone or iPod. I use an iPod because it’s the cheapest option that makes my life better. If I couldn’t do that, I’d borrow an Apple device from a friend once a week for a few minutes.

7. “But how will people find it?”

It not only works like Twitter, it’s integrated with Twitter and Facebook.

8. “But what can you do in only six seconds?”

Remember when I told you the story about the editor who said of Twitter, “I can’t say anything of value in 140 characters.” Translation: She was telling the world she was a lousy editor. Lots of people manage it so we can, too.

9. “I heard Vine is just filled with porn.”

They had issues with pornography but Apple made Vine’s developers scrub it. That end of the story got a lot of media coverage as Vine launched. That was last week. That data is out of date.

10. “I’m already on too many social media and can’t take the time.”

To the second point, it’s six seconds. You can spare six seconds. (Okay, maybe it takes me a minute and six seconds to get it right and post it.)

As for being on too many social media platforms: Evaluate what’s working and delete what isn’t. For instance, if you’re not looking for a job, dump LinkedIn. I did.

We call them platforms because that’s where we climb up to speak to a larger crowd. Do it and, if you’re tragically unsexy like me, do what I do and let puppets do the talking.

As soon as you download the app and get set up, find me, follow me and show me your videos. It will be great to put voices and faces to all of you. Without video, I’m just imagining you’re all lingerie-clad Angelina Jolies, Joan Chens and Beyonces. Even the guys. Especially the guys.

What Is “Vine”? (fox2now.com)
Will the “Vine” start to grow on Journalist? (drakej70.wordpress.com)
9 Things We’d Change About Vine (mashable.com)
Vine’s 6-Second Video Loops: The New 140-Character Tweet? (fishandbicycles.com)
Why I Like Twitter’s Vine App (livinglocurto.com)
After Its Porn Problem, Twitter-Owned Vine Adds 17+ Age Rating To Video Sharing App (techcrunch.com)
Why Vine will be as revolutionary as Twitter was (theweek.com)
Vine app for iOS, waiting game for Android (phonesreview.co.uk)
Vine Ripened – Twitter’s New Six Second Video App (vergenewmedia.com)

Filed under: author platform, book marketing, podcasts, Vine, All That Chazz, Apple, blogging, book, book promotion, books, ebooks, entertainment, fun, funny, Marketing, Media, Podcast, podcasts, promotion, promotip, Robert Chazz Chute, six-second video, social media, technology, Twitter, video, Vine

02/07/2013 • 8:02 PM 3

Draft2Digital: A new contender steps up

See on Scoop.it – Writing and reading fiction

Robert Chazz Chute‘s insight:

There’s a new alternative to Smashwords and Bookbaby. It’s Draft2Digital and it looks pretty good so far. From what I’ve read, it’s kind of like an updated Smashwords without the catalogue. The idea is to publish across platforms (currently fewer than SW, but including kindle) with less fuss. (Read: No style guide. You use yours!)

To review how I feel about Smashwords: The website looks dated and univiting; the gift coupons for promotional purposes are awesome and all other retailers should steal that brilliant idea; for the casual browser, the inability to avoid porn is unfortunate; it’s a destination for writers looking for a cheap and relatively easy way to upload to a lot of platforms (except kindle) but it’s not a destination location for readers to shop.

Speaking of stealing good ideas, Smashwords would also benefit from adopting one-click buying and more current accounting. I respect Mr. Coker’s pioneering and he’s done a ton for the digital publishing revolution. I wish the site would adapt to change faster. I’ll still have stuff on SW in the future, but maybe through a limited selection of retailers or just for a listing on the site itself. My hope is that, with more competition, SW will improve on the fronts I’ve mentioned.

To review how I feel about Bookbaby: The price up front is higher; their payments and tracking are convenient; they’ve been slow to respond to me; any change costs, and not a little. I’m withdrawing from Bookbaby to implement a new strategy.

Draft2Digital might be a big part of that new strategy and I’ll certainly try them out. I’ll still want to deal with Amazon directly, but from what I’ve heard lately, it might be the easiest thing for me to do to publish on Kobo.

Perhaps the most interesting thing for me is D2D says they can make publishing to CreateSpace easier. I like CS, but there is always a time-sucking problem and I’d be happy to have someone solve it cheaply. From what D2D promises, it’s evident they have more humans involved in the process compared to the fully automated model of Smashwords’ meatgrinder.

A service that makes publishing easier with human checks and balances done inexpensively? Wow. Early reports are good. If they can deliver satisfactorily and consistently, it’s more than just a question of competition for SW and BB et al. It’s that they can save me time and heartache so I can concentrate on writing the next book instead of struggling with logistics of publishing the last book. I like more tools and powerful weapons in my backpack for whatever struggle may come.

To learn more about Draft2Digital, click the Scoopit! link below. Thanks to Passive Voice for the heads up about this new service. ~ Chazz

See on www.draft2digital.com

Filed under: publishing

02/06/2013 • 6:59 AM 1

Grab more business mojo: What Jedis know about Fear

I have more changes to make at Ex Parte Press and those changes involve some of you. (Heh. Didja hear that nervous giggle from across the globe, too?) It’s time to be the Jedis we secretly are, even though we’re Jedi school dropouts and Yoda said that thing about Fear leads to Hate…no wait, Hate leads to Fear and…um…gingivitis? Yoda talked backward a lot, okay?! Stupid syntax!

Anyway, I’ll be unveiling new plans for the Deathstar soon. I’d tell you everything right away, but I have to chaw on it to refine the details and call up a few people to bounce some ideas off their heads.

THE BROAD GOALS

1. Get more subscribers to my email list to enjoy my newsletters and giveaways (please sign up in the sidebar at AllThatChazz.com.)

2. Get my podcast to pay for itself and grow the listenership. (Try any of the current 67 episodes here.)

3. Find more allies, readers and reviewers, build a small cult, raise a large army for world domination and finally fix shit. I’ll start with the first three items on the list (i.e. allies, readers and reviewers) and sell more books. There’s much to do.

THE LONG-TERM GOALS

Eventually? Wi-fi for everyone and use Tesla’s secret plans for free electricity from the air. Everybody gets fed, lives in peace, low calorie ice cream will actually taste good and even make you thin. The new job for cancer cells will be to eat pollution since people will be made immune to the disease through the power of hemp oil. We’re going to cut down on a lot of the fear that rules our lives. That’s the Jedi way! (The Chicago way — he brings a knife, you bring a gun — bodies everywhere.)

Anyone who doubted me will be cast in a remake of BJ and the Bear and will never be allowed off air, even when they need to poop. (They will, however, be broadcast on one of those cable channels high up no one watches on purpose. Am I not merciful?) Oh, and, of course, all coconut trees will be genetically engineered to sentience and yield coffee beans the size and flavor of coconuts in exchange for hyper-intelligence and all that free wi-fi. See, I’ve thought the big stuff through.

THE SHORT-TERM GOALS

Sure, everybody wants all those tiny miracles, but I’m working on the how of optimizing my micro-publishing empire. It’ll involve a little more technology, dancing outside my tiny comfort zone and opening up other income streams based on what I already do. It will involve calling up people to ask for help and, of course, continuing to smash through those writing and production deadlines. It ain’t all just sit back and be witty for a living, y’all.

THE REQUISITE MARATHON METAPHOR

It’s really about doubling down on this crazy bet I made on myself. It’s about not stopping as I hit the wall at mile 22. (Whispers) It’s mile 22 right about now actually. My shins are killing me.

This is where most people quit, but if I did that, I’d hate myself. There are only a few more miles to…well, that’s not the finish line. It’s the end of the beginning. But up ahead, past this hard part? The slopes are more gentle. Up ahead, I get a bike! The race isn’t as frenzied and I can coast a bit here and there. Sure, eventually we’ll all fall on our knees before our coconut-coffee hybrid overlords, but I’ll reign for 1,000 years first, so it all evens out.

GOOD FEARS, BAD FEARS

I’ll reveal the details when all the hunter-killer satellites’ particle beam arrays are in place. My most important point today is more general. I’ve been listening again to The Four-hour Workweek by Tim Ferris. No, as an author, I don’t expect to get all of Ex Parte Press’s business done in four hours a week. However, the book pushes my buttons and tells me where I have operated out of fear. Fear has held me back from projects which could help my work immensely…like that particle beam thingy, for instance.

In my heart — left ventricle — the big decisions are already made, but the ghostly voice in the back of my head asks: What if it doesn’t work? What if you don’t have enough time? What if it’s already too late? What if you don’t have enough money to make it work? What if it’s all too much? (Smother? Is that you?)

And yet, in the big picture these are small gambles with potentially big payoffs. I don’t have that much to lose and I might gain everything I need. Fear keeps you from doing stupid stuff, like parachuting without a parachute, eating old meat or jogging in winter (or summer).

But fear can hold you back from the most important bets you make on yourself. And when I say “you”, I mean “definitely me” and “maybe, probably you.”

THE CLICHED BUT NECESSARY FISHING METAPHOR

Thing is, the good fishing is in the far fishing hole, where most people won’t go. The better fishing hole is not a secret. It’s just that, for many, it’s too far for the hike and the trail is a bit narrower up there. I might fall in and get cold and wet and cry a bit. Chances are better than average I’ll come back with big fish, though.

Stay tuned for more…All That Chazz.

~ Robert Chazz Chute is a crime novelist. They aren’t mysteries. They’re grab-you-by-the-cojones thrillers, with obstacles and surprises, twists and explosions. They’re also funny amid the sex, violence, psychological chaos, bon mots, general smart-assery and the cool hit man with the divine name. Chazz has also written several suspenseful books with bizarre themes. He wrote two writing and publishing guides, too — the only funny ones. The All That Chazz podcast is broadcast everywhere weekly but never weakly. You can get the podcast from AllThatChazz.com, Stitcher, iTunes and you can even receive the kick-ass signal on your braces Marsha! Marsha! Marsha! Join Chazz’s revolution, or suffer the wrath of the chimp named Bear.

One of us! One of us! Burn that bushel to sell more books (chazzwrites.com)
New podcast release at AllThatChazz.com (chazzwrites.com)
How to stop hurting yourself on #Twitter (chazzwrites.com)
Author Platform: Problems, Solutions & Stuffed Speedos (chazzwrites.com)
Podcast: Furious! (allthatchazz.com)
Seven tips about book marketing very few will heed (chazzwrites.com)
What gets clicks (chazzwrites.com)
Stuff not to say on your blog (chazzwrites.com)
What will you make of 2013? Help is on the way. (chazzwrites.com)

Filed under: book marketing, self-publishing, aims, allthatchazz.com, book, book marketing strategies, book promotion, books, Business, Crack the Indie Author Code, dreams, ebooks, goals, Jedi, multiple income streams, Podcast, podcasting, Robert Chazz Chute, successful book marketing, The 4 hour work week, tim ferris, writer, writing

02/04/2013 • 8:21 AM 6

How to stop hurting yourself on #Twitter

I’m in a bind. I hate scolds, but occasionally I fall into that category. Usually, I stay silent when a righteous rebuke is all lined up for the tee off. Not today.

CASUAL INDIGNITIES AT THE MALL

When the cashier at A&W refers to the restaurant as “the store” and my dinner as “your chicken product”, I’m embarrassed to be there. I bite my tongue and swear again I’ll learn how to cook.

When I redeem a lotto ticket and the counter guy says, “You’re a gambler! Come around to this counter, not that one!” Even though no one else is in the store (and, no matter what, I AM F#$@!%! NEXT!) I say, “Sure.” Then I walk around to the other counter. The controlling nit doesn’t move. I get a lousy two bucks and my dose of humiliation. I swear never to return to this inconvenience store and never again shall I lay eyes on the smug bonehead who runs his petty fiefdom with an iron fist of passive aggression.

I try to be a nice guy. But the rage…these urges. No wonder I write about killing people. Crime fiction is my passive aggression at work.

BUT NOW…THE CALL TO END TWITTER PROMO MADNESS

It’s time to assert. I try to appear somewhat adorable and mask my true whiny/murderous nature, but the time to stay silent and patient has passed. I’ve asked this before. I’ve reasoned and cajoled. I’ve stopped short of insisting. I said please and thank you. I’ve led, but few followed. It’s time to say it again and to get tougher:

Authors, stop just tweeting Amazon links! ~~Please!~~ Stop it!

Okay, there are times to do it. If you’re launching a book or doing something different and new, fine. Free days on Amazon spawn a lot of lookalike tweets and we can’t help that. Tweet away! I don’t believe in spam per se, but I do believe in dumb and dumb is dangerous.

It is, of course, entirely up to you what you decide to commit on social media. However…

I’M STEPPING UP BY STEPPING DOWN

I won’t be retweeting those repetitive tweets from now on. To interest readers, you need to offer fresh content and many of my fellow aspirants aren’t doing that. The practice does not help your book and it hurts my Twitter following. I have to tweet content, not air to grow my cult. You do, too.

I’ve retweeted many authors, happily and generously. Well…lately it’s been less happy because I’m too often asked to sow the same seeds in the same field. That’s not healthy for us or the crops. And consumers? They hate it. It tastes like rerun roadkill when they see the same tweet repeatedly. Grow your reader farm: Tweet and retweet more randomly.

Book promotion laziness has fallen into too many Twitter streams. For instance, how about more of a clue what your book is about and/or what genre it is? I know it’s only 140 characters, so be clever and craft your message so we understand. Use hashtags or a short quote. Telling is not selling.

Not everybody’s on board with using fresh, imaginative tweets to seduce new readers so I must participate less. It should be that the more I take part, the more followers I gain. I don’t see that in my stats at the moment.

WHAT WORKS ON TWITTER

What I see is, the more I tweet and retweet fresh content that’s funny or useful, the more followers I gain. The more I retweet stale links, the more Follow drop off I suffer. I want to help with RTs and I often do, but I won’t do so if what you want me to retweet hurts me.

HOW TWITTER FAILS AS ADVERTISING

Unless your title screams exactly what your book is about and you’re hitting the Twitter browser at just the right time, broadcasting your title and a link isn’t effective. This is exactly what it’s not like:

“Oh, there’s an Amazon link to a book called Survive Your Ambulance Ride! and I happen to be having a heart attack right now! Tis kismet! Uh-oh! I can’t feel my left arm! Quick, Helen! Before calling 911, help me click that Buy link! Good thing I have one-click buying! Um…oh, god, the blinding pain! How’s your speed reading, Helen?”

THE MYTH OF HELPFUL REPETITION

Small business owners have always been told that, for ads to be effective, they have to be seen over and over, between nine and twenty-seven times, depending on how greedy the salesperson is. The people telling them that were selling Yellow Pages advertising (or, as I now call it: Yellowed Pages.)

The Crazy Expensive Repetitive Advertising Model might even have been true then. We have more choices now. When I detect you’re trying to skate by on the same bland tweets, it feels less like a marketing plan and more like blackmail: “Buy my book and maybe I’ll stop asking you to buy my book.”

Good news: You can run as many ads for your books as you like, but bury that ad in new, better and varying content. For instance, the content always changes on this blog, but I hope my book covers at least look familiar by now, right? Right?! (What’s left of Chazz’s soul dies a little more under the crush of ice-cold anonymity.)

SOLUTION: GET SOMETHING NEW TO TWEET

Write a new blog post (with plenty of links to your books). Go ahead and go crazy. It’s your blog. Just make the posts helpful or funny and new. We all love New.

Write about the setting for your latest novel (especially if it’s exotic and you had angry monkey sex in a hot tub under a palm tree on your last vacation there.) Tell us what true events inspired you. Get on a podcast and tweet about that. Write a guest post. Reblog more for easy, fresh content your readers will appreciate (and the original blogger will thank you for.) Stop depending on the same tweet to get us to buy that same book. Change it up! Rotate tweets at least! Say something amusing, interesting, offensive, odd, surreal, whatever! Anything! Just stop pounding that same key hoping for a new note. Resolve now to tweet new stuff.

And for Thor’s sake, for readers and for your career,

write a new book!

~ Robert Chazz Chute has recoiled, turtle-like and appalled, at having published this post. He wishes it wasn’t needed. He feels bad making anyone feel bad. He’s distancing himself from this post even now by writing this in the third person. Sure, he means well, but who cares about that? You can hear his latest rant about something else entirely at the All That Chazz podcast.

Seven tips about book marketing very few will heed (chazzwrites.com)
The art of the retweet: does time of day matter? (polarisprinc.com)
Get More Retweets [Infographic] (pamorama.net)
How To Retweet: 8 Ways To Avoid Being A Lazy Retweeter (marketingthink.com)
Reblogged Vs. Retweet: A Case for the Former (zemanta.com)

Filed under: Publicity & Promotion, Twitter, Amazon, Amazon Kindle, Author, Blog, blogging, books, ebooks, Online Communities, Robert Chazz Chute, social media, Social network, Twitter, writer, writing

02/01/2013 • 5:59 PM 0

The New Rules of Blogging

See on Scoop.it – Writing and reading fiction

There are two events in human history that are more important than any other event in human history, ever. I am prepared to argue this point with anyone who wants to challenge me on it. The two events (the solutions) are depicted in this graphic.

Robert Chazz Chute‘s insight:

This preamble is going to look unrelated to the Scoopit! link to the New Rules of Blogging. It’s not. Bear with me as I bare myself.

The self-publishing blogoverse will probably be all atwitter about Guy Kawasaki’s list of 10 mistakes we make as self-publishers (http://bit.ly/WDSbPp). Most of his advice is peachy. Some of it I disagree with, like: Idolizing Word without qualification (until you get to the comments on the DBW link), pumping up paperback versions without reservation and a sneaking suspicion he thinks we all want a trad publisher. Picky of me, perhaps. The bigger problem with the piece is he’s all the way up there with a howitzer, all I have is a starter pistol and he’s saying, "You really should use your cannon." Um…must be in my other wallet…the hoped-for-future wallet.

I think Kawasaki’s article illustrates the chasm between someone coming in from trad publishing with money to spend and the majority of micro-publishers. I appreciate his book (APE as ini Author, Publisher, Entrepreneur) and think self-publishers should read it. There’s lots of good stuff in it.

However, my major reservation about the DBW piece ($10,000 to $15,000 on PR?!) is that it sounds very old school and his budget is beyond me and most authors I know, self-published or not. This is actually an odd gap since he acknowledges that you shouldn’t do this for the money and the chances of having a $15,000 PR budget are grim unless your day job subsidizes your micro-publishing efforts. I get the feeling that, from where he’s standing, he can’t understand my problems, my pathetic lack of world domination or my financial bind.

Confession: Last week I did a rare thing and bought a coffee. Because I was searching through small change, the counter guy at Canadian Bagel offered to knock 50 cents off the price to save my pride. Thanks CB guy! However, I dug up the pennies. I left feeling thankful for the kind gesture, sad and somewhat homeless. I really should get these jeans hemmed and make sure I look less scruffy, I guess.

Let me tell you something that will help. I wrote it in Crack the Indie Author Code and Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire. It’s advice I published for the rest of us, armed only with starter pistols, grim determination and unhemmed pants. I’m telling you here for free. It’s key and it’s not in the DBW article: Write more books! Write more books! Write more books! I put eight books up last year. (No, I didn’t write them all last year and I obviously can’t claim Mr. Kawasaki’s long track record of success, but I do have a decent number of books for sale, so it’s the start of an ambitious pace.)

My point is, you and I, the micro-publishers armed with cheap guerilla marketing tactics, are closer to each other than we are to the expensive suggestion of a costly PR campaign for each book. (Imagine having the fat stack to pimp eight books in one year at ten to fifteen grand a pop! Ooh, shivers!) I don’t begrudge Mr. Kawasaki his promotional opportunities. We all fantasize about how much we could do to promote our books if we just had lots of cash to do it up pretty. We don’t have that moolah, so we’ll have to improvise on some of his otherwise excellent points. To his credit, he does say we each must choose our path. I agree and have said the same many times. It just feels like he doesn’t realize people with starter pistols have fewer paths from which to choose and we are the vast majority of self-publishing’s aspirants. One day some of us will have howitzers and we can take more of his valuable advice.

In the spirit of giving you something that’s perhaps more hopeful to authors reading this blog, I’m sharing this Scoopit! link about the New Rules of Blogging. It’s about looking in new places for opportunity and gaining influence to get your signal through the noise. (The video is NSFW). Learn and enjoy at the link!

~ Chazz

See on diyblogger.net

Filed under: publishing

01/31/2013 • 5:30 PM 3

New podcast release at AllThatChazz.com

On All That Chazz, I’ve just released a new podcast episode called Furious. I confess that I have broken a record that lasted 10 years. That was an impressive streak while it lasted. I can’t tell you what the record is because it’s very NSFW, but you can hear the vulgar, neurotic truth at the link.

In other news, I talk about casually offending listeners (and readers for that matter), Christians versus atheists, plus I read from the next chapter from Higher Than Jesus, “Rage in Heaven”. Expect action, adventure, lisping and macho BS that knows it’s macho BS. Enjoy!

Have a listen. Have a great day, or make it one.

~ Higher Than Jesus is funny crime fiction about a Cuban hit man with a tragic past and mommy issues. He also has a perilous addiction to Vicodin, a burning need for righteous vengeance and he worships the gorgeous blonde glamazon, Willow Clemont. Click here to see all of Chazz’s books.