C h a z z W r i t e s . c o m

See all my books at AllThatChazz.com.

12/11/2012 • 1:40 PM 3

Book Marketing: World Literary Cafe Tweet Teams and how to tweet more effectively

More tips and tricks to steer your authorship. This book is free to you until Saturday! Please click to get it now.

You can now vote for the funniest and bestest entry in the Seven Words or Less Contest to determine who gets their name in my next thriller, Hollywood Jesus. Just take a look at the comment thread here and email your vote for the best entry to expartepress AT gmail DOT com. Enjoy!

Do you use World Literary Cafe Tweet Teams? It’s a free promotional tool for authors and, with Christmas approaching, I see a lot of new faces over there today. To use the tool, go to the Tweet Teams menu at World Literary Cafe. Each team has ten members, so you’ll tweet nine others through the day and they’ll tweet you in return. Here’s how it works to spread your word:

1. You will input two Twitter-friendly messages, so make sure you stay under 140 characters. (When people don’t, it’s annoying and I feel bad editing the author’s tweet to make it fit.)

2. Your message must begin with RT @yourtwittername and end with #WLCAuthor

3. Tweet all your team members the same day. Use TweetDeck or some other tweet scheduling program so you don’t beat your Twitter following over the head too hard.

4. You must also tweet the WLC daily tweets as a payment and courtesy to the folks at WLC. They provide and maintain this service free, so do that. They do a lot for authors at World Literary Cafe, so check out all their services. They’re useful for lots more besides Tweet Teams.

5. Please read and reread the instructions carefully to make sure you’re compliant with the rules. Daily tweets are randomly audited to make sure everybody plays fair.

Those are the basics, but I’d like to add something more: Add something more to your tweets besides, “Here’s my book + Amazon link.” I understand doing it that way. I’m not saying don’t. I’m saying do something more and different. If that’s all you tweet, it’s not seductive. I see some curmudgeons handwring over how much Christmas book spam clots our Twitter feeds. As I’ve said before, I’m not some tweet narc telling you what to do. However, there’s stuff you can do to tweet more effectively. For instance:

People like gifts. Do a giveaway so you’re giving them a sample of what you’re about:

RT @rchazzchute FREEBIE! Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire Jedi mind tricks to get it all done + much more http://amzn.to/TuXSxB #WLCAuthor

RT @rchazzchute Free to download Write Your Book Top 10s so writers become authors, #promotip tools http://amzn.to/TuXSxB #WLCAuthor #inspire

RT @rchazzchute #GIVEAWAY Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire For anyone who wants to #publish http://amzn.to/TuXSxB #WLCAuthor #Amazon #free

Instead of just tweeting “Orangeberry Book Tour”, make it funny or informative:

RT @rchazzchute Author interview for the #crime thriller Higher Than Jesus at http://www.ravinaandreakurian.com #WLCAuthor #hardboiled #sex & #violence

Or send them to a useful link on your blog or a podcast:

RT @rchazzchute #PODCAST The Death by Ewok Edition #Unicycling is cool http://bit.ly/UQOLYK #WLCAuthor + free book @ #writing & #publishing

RT @rchazzchute Marketing Your Book: #11 is really harsh. Sorry. http://bit.ly/X2QAzw #WLCAuthor plus a #free book @ #writing & #publishing

Sure, it powers your tweet if you’ve got a podcast or your free Amazon days are on, but you’ve got a blog so bring them back there a bit instead of just shooting out the sales link without context. Give people a chance to fall in love with you a little. If they like your tone, your information, book covers or even your amazing eyebrows in your author photo, that’s a better shot at a sale.

Some of those curmudgeons I mentioned don’t like quotes from books showing up in tweets. So what? I love quotes. If you love it (and have compelling quotes that nab eyeballs, hearts and minds) then go ahead and do that. And if you don’t love it, don’t do it and unsubscribe. This is the Internet. There aren’t many rules, only guidelines. That’s why I love the Internet.

Think about what works on you. What compels you to click a link? Then do that.

How about it? Really. What does make you click a link? Does it all come down to the title of the book, area of interest or mentions of sloth genitalia? Today I mentioned that the book that I’m giving away cures bad breath, pigeon toes and athlete’s genitalia. That worked.

“You will laugh your ass off!” ~ Author of Cybrgrrl, Maxwell Cynn

~ Robert Chazz Chute is the author of books about writing and publishing, the Hit Man Series, suspense and very quirky self-help. Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire is free until Saturday. Since you’ve endured reading all the way down here, you’ll no doubt grok it. Grab the giveaway here and if you love it, please review it. Cheers!

Book promotion: Don’t trust the ferryman Part 1 (chazzwrites.com)
Marketing Your Books: #11 is really harsh. Sorry. (chazzwrites.com)
50 Simple Ways to Build Your Platform in 5 Minutes a Day | WritersDigest.com (chazzwrites.com)
Reminder: To plug your book… (chazzwrites.com)

Filed under: publishing, Amazon, Amazon giveaways, Amazon Kindle, Aspire to inspire, book marketing, book promotion, free ebook, Online Communities, Podcast, Social Networking, Tweet Teams, TweetDeck, Twitter, World Literary Cafe, Write Your Book

12/07/2012 • 12:14 PM 12

Marketing Your Books: #11 is really harsh. Sorry.

More tips and tricks to steer your authorship. This book is free to you until Saturday, Dec. 15! Please click to get it now.

Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire is free on Amazon Tuesday to Saturday.

Here’s where to get it on Amazon.

(No Kindle? Get a free kindle reading app here.)

Now, continuing from yesterday’s post, let’s talk more about book promotion:

6. Try a variety of approaches. In Crack the Indie Author Code and Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire, I talk about my successes and

Click here to get Higher Than Jesus, #2 in The Hit Man Series

failures. I learned a lot from the failures and I hope you will, too. What has worked best is appearing in more than one spot at a time. (Amazon free days plus blogging plus World Literary Cafe Tweet Teams plus appearing on other podcasts, for instance, is an example of repetition across different platforms.) Too often, we bet the farm on one thing and end up disappointed. Some guest blog their brains out, but their level of success varies widely. Pace yourself to avoid burnout.

7. Be willing to be flexible. There’s still a lot of resistance to podcasting among authors, for instance. They worry about the cash outlay (which is minor by most standards) and the technology obstacle (which is easily dealt with, especially if you get help as I suggest.) Resistance to marketing isn’t any different from resistance to sitting down to write or a reluctance to dealing with paperwork or exercise: Begin and it’s not so bad. I’m sympathetic. I put off getting my tax number for the IRS for some time. When I sat down with a scotch to finally deal with it, it was over and done long before the scotch was gone.

8. There is no magic bullet. I’d be very suspicious of anyone who says they have The Answer. I’ve read many books from people who say they have it, but they sometimes suggest things that don’t make sense to me, don’t apply to me or my book or are unethical. Look at these proposals as if you’re the consumer. Have you ever bought anything off a Facebook advertisement? I haven’t, so I’d never buy Facebook advertising. That’s not being inflexible. That’s doing what makes sense to you.

9. Beware of gurus. In my writing and publishing guides, I warn authors to be careful about one-track prescriptive advice. Instead, I present encouraging information about what you can try, but to help, not to pontificate on how to “Do it my way!” There is no one way for all books or all authors! Some experts have been in the field so long, they should be appreciated for their experience, but some of their information is dated. I approached the writing guides as a fellow traveller. I’m not the guy telling you what to do to succeed. I’m the guy walking beside you saying, I tried that trail. It’s pretty steep and dangerous. Try this. See what you can handle. See what works for you.

10. The only sure thing is to write a good book and put a really good cover on it. Okay, there are good books that get ignored all the time. However, when you go through all those heavy marketing efforts, make sure you’ve hitched your wagon to a star, not a stump. The answer is certainly not to put out a bad book with an ugly cover. I tried a do-it-yourself cover and it hurt. Write the best book you can. Put the best face on it you can. Then write more good books to expand your chance at being found. A big bookshelf is your friend at home and on the web.

11. (Given the title of this post, you skipped right here, didn’t you?) Here’s the blasphemy you’ll hate: You are not above marketing. If you think you can poke along and do nothing to be discovered, your odds of failure shoot way up. Brilliant prose doesn’t count for near so much as we’d like to think. Writers tell other writers that the prose is paramount. Meanwhile, readers flock to Fifty Shades of Gray. I wish literature mattered as much as writers say, but the readers’ sensibility determines our success in the market. I’ve read plenty of suspense that, frankly, I don’t think is all that great. Though I can write rings around them, those authors are doing better than me financially. Bitter pill. I’m sorry. I hate it, too.

12. Ease up on the gas pedal. Your daily word count and the editorial side of production is your first priority. Do not exhaust your network and blow out the marketing engine by trying to push too much all the time. The guy who announced he now hates Rafflecopter might lighten up if he saw fewer half-assed promotions with uninspiring prizes.

13. Get help. I read as much as I can stand about publishing, of course. (Note to anyone writing about writing and publishing: Please make it more fun. Thanks.) But I also mean delegating where possible. I have been resistant to advertising in the past, but for a few dollars, Masquerade Crew helped me move more books recently than I could have on my own. I’m seeing the benefits of that small outlay now as I roll closer to achieving escape velocity. I had to admit to myself that I can’t do it all. I tried and it led to sleepless nights, bad health and my wife crying. Progress is being made because I asked for help. Friends and fans and colleagues stepped forward to assist. (Thanks again, guys!)

14. Change a losing game. Most indie buddies of mine are going the same route. Either they’ve already abandoned KDP Select’s exclusivity or they do it once for 90 days and then open up to the wider market on more platforms. Market share is in flux. Amazon is still the big dog with about 60%+ percent of the ebook market, but iBooks are getting bigger because Apple’s devices are becoming more ubiquitous. Kobo’s revamped their platform and they’re present in more countries. When I first approached Kobo, they acted like they were trying to get rid of me. They’re apparently much more user-friendly now and I look forward to taking them for a test-drive after Christmas when my own KDP exclusive contract runs out.

Those are my thoughts on book promotion. What are yours?

“You will laugh your ass off!” ~ Author of Cybrgrrl, Maxwell Cynn

~ Robert Chazz Chute is the author of Self-help for Stoners, Bigger Than Jesus, Higher Than Jesus, The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories, Sex, Death & Mind Control (for fun and profit), Crack the Indie Author Code and Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire. Check out all the samples here or for all the links and the All That Chazz podcast, check out AllThatChazz.com.

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Filed under: publishing, allthatchazz.com, Amazon, Amazon Kindle, Aspire to inspire, book marketing, book promotion, books, Crack the Indie Author Code, E-book, iBooks, Kobo, publicity, Robert Chazz Chute, selling books, Write Your Book, writing

11/05/2012 • 8:41 PM 7

Amazon Overboard: Further thoughts

Crack the Indie Author Code and Write Your Book: Aspire to Inspire both have bonus offers of free ebooks. Buy two books and you get four! Just released, so no reviews yet, but any second now….any second…Amazon’s doing what?! I’ve gotta sit down on a stump and think about this!

Publishing blogs will be burning up about Amazon’s new review policy tonight. Here’s my soothing balm: I think the idea of clamping down on authors reviewing their “competition” is so nuts, somebody on Amazon’s end will step in and say, “Sorry! Never mind. It was Todd’s first day and he locked himself on the bridge and took the helm and we almost crashed into that small moon.”

(Everybody all together now: “That’s no moon!”)

This is such a classic overcorrection to the comparatively minor problem of sock puppetry that I have to believe cooler, smarter heads will prevail. This is Amazon. They’re smart! (“…right?” said a small, nervous voice.)

In case they aren’t smart about this issue, here are my thoughts and predictions for what might happen if they don’t break past the locked door to the bridge and wrestle Ensign Todd to the deck.

1. Following this logic, if Steven King were to step out of a pillar of literary white light, lay his sword upon my shoulders and give The

Steven King! Click here! Small-town terrors and psychological mayhem in Maine.

Dangerous Kind & Other Stories his blessing, Amazon wouldn’t want a share in my ensuing windfall? (I choose that book because, hey, comparisons have been made and, ahem, Steve, if you’re reading this…)

Okay, that’s not going to happen, but the principle strikes at the heart of the problem. If Steven King — or any other writer who springs to mind — says a book is good, that recommendation is given more weight in the real world, not less. We’re writers and we’re serious. We might know a little something about craft. I wrote two guides to writing and publishing and used to work in traditional publishing. For that reason, I should get less of a voice and opportunity to exercise free speech? To put it less eruditely but more succinctly: Um…huh?!

2. She Who Must Be Obeyed pointed out that the Oscars would have to be closed down by this policy’s logic. In that group, only directors can vote for directors and cinematographers vote for cinematographers. No one questions their moral fortitude and how honest their opinions are. Amazon’s giving me less credit for honesty than Hollywood people?! Again: What?!

If the core issue is trust — and we do want to trust that the review system works despite some evidence to the contrary — that trust is tested in two directions, not one.

3. Amazon’s great at a lot of things. If they keep this review policy, they will give their competitors a chance to be good at something at which Amazon, at present, suckeths. It doesn’t help that the policy is an insult aimed right at us. Most people can be trusted to write an honest review. My fear is that this move enables a lot of bad reviewers (who happen not to be authors) to go rogue and unchecked. Without balance, we all fall down.

4. I’m concerned that there’s a bunch of fear cropping up around this issue. As someone on Twitter told me today, it doesn’t help that they threaten to pull the book down if you argue with them. In dealing with artists, authors and content providers, threats are a tactical error. We’re all adults here, so let’s take this as an opportunity to solve problems. I’ve already been told, not unkindly, that I should watch what I say for fear of punishment. JA Konrath has mentioned that he’s got so many reviews, he’s above the fray. I have few enough, I’m beneath it. Take me down and I’ll get more publicity from the capricious attack.

5. The Law of Unintended Consequences is one of my favorite laws. It rules throughout my plots. In fact, as Konrath has pointed out, it’s this bitch of a law that got us into this mess. If this policy stands I predict:

A. Fewer reviews on Amazon. Well, d’uh. If they just take them down, why bother?

B. Bad reviews stay up, depressing our star ratings. What many readers suspicious of reviews don’t understand is how incredibly difficult it is to get any reviews at all. That’s especially frustrating because many sites won’t help us promote our books until we have at least 10 reviews that yield a ranking above four stars. Put up another barrier to our livelihood and hopes and dreams and you get…

C. More paid reviews will rear up from clever, shady companies who will get around the system. Put desperate authors in a game they can’t win and more will cheat (only this time they’ll feel justified instead of furtive.)

D. Reviews will matter less than they do now. Many would say “even” less, and I repeat my oft-repeated plea: Read the sample and base your buying decisions on that, please.

E. Competitors and book review sites and book bloggers will rise higher as this policy change makes reviews less relevant. In many cases, authors will have to pay for those reviews, too, just to get to the head of the line.

Sigh. Okay…it’s off my chest. Now what?

My suggestions:

Sign the Change.org petition asking Amazon to please stop taking down reviews arbitrarily.

Get back to NaNoWriMo and have some fun being awesome.

Get back to reading something great and review it.

By the time you do so, this mess will probably be sorted out and Todd will be safely stowed in the brig.

*Geek test: Yes, I’m aware I mixed allusions to Star Trek and Star Wars in this post. Climb down off my back. It was a joke.

Free to download Nov 5 to Nov 9, 2012. Grab it now!

FRESH UPDATE: My crime novel, Bigger Than Jesus just reached #1 in Hardboiled and #9 in Action/Adventure. That’s an example of something Amazon does very well. Click it to grab it free until November 9!

Joe Konrath: Amazon Deleted My Reviews (huffingtonpost.com)
Amazon removes book reviews by fellow authors (guardian.co.uk)
Has Amazon gone way overboard with its new review policy? (chazzwrites.com)
Fake Reviews Be Gone…But at What Cost? (kellielarsenmurphy.com)
Disappearing Amazon Reviews (laurenwaters.net)
Don’t Let Your Amazon Reviews Be Deleted (joannegphillips.wordpress.com)

Filed under: publishing, Amazon, Amazon Kindle, Amazon reviews, Author, books, change.org, indie authors, petition, publishing, review policy, Robert Chazz Chute, self-publishing, Star Trek, Steven King, The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories, The Law of Unintended Consequences, Unintended Consequences

09/16/2012 • 8:58 AM 7

Are ebook contests worth the entry fee?

Usually I’m here spouting my opinion about publishing or sharing what I find that’s useful for indie authors.

English: Ribbon for contests (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today, I’m asking for your opinion of ebook awards. Help me with this, please.

I just ran across PIA (Publishing Innovation Awards), for instance. It’s $199 to submit a book in a single category. Wow. (That qualifies as a “wow” because it’s the most expensive contest I’ve seen.) Huge companies are behind it, which is reassuring, though one wonders how much their corporate sponsorship has put a dent in that entry fee? Most entry fees for awards available to indie authors seem to be in the $50 to $69 range. The one I’ve spotted that’s free to enter is also no doubt the best known: Amazon’s Breakthrough Novel Award. Other awards ask for a more hefty fee for one book but you can enter a second book at a much reduced fee.

I googled for reviews of some of these contests, but that got me pages and pages of the winners trumpeting their books (not reviews of the contest experience itself.) Maybe that means these awards are totally worth the expense of entry and the winners gained readers, provided social proof of excellence and improved sales. A seal of approval on any book is no doubt somewhat reassuring to potential readers, even if they’ve never heard of the award.

FYI: The Book Designer has a handy list of contests here. It’s a little out of date but most of the information still applies. Note that it’s just a list, not an endorsement of any particular contest.

I’ll start you off with this observation: My first thought about the QED award was that it looks good and has a happy track record according to their website. There was an awful lot of reading and pitching before I found the cost of entry. (It’s on the FAQ page, though I’m not sure what the alternative $125 for QED consideration might include. Is $125 for getting evaluated on their 13-point form? Hm.) The search for the contest fee was annoying. If the QED is an awesome opportunity and I’m a fool for hesitating, jump on it. Their deadline is November 15.

What’s your experience? Do contests for authors excite you or are you suspicious some may be merely moneymakers for those who conceive them? Would you enter your books into a contest or is your promotional budget best spent elsewhere? I welcome your thoughts and comments. Thanks for helping me with this.

Ebook cover design awards for June (teleread.com)
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And the winner of the Six Words or Less Contest is… (chazzwrites.com)

Filed under: publishing, Amazon, Amazon Kindle, are contests worth it, Contest, Contests, contests for indie authors, E-book, ebook awards, entry fees, indie author awards, social proof, Writers Resources

07/26/2012 • 5:39 PM 2

UBC #27: Use Google Search Stories to tell your stories

Every day, there is a lesson. This new video was created with Google Search Stories. It’s easy and quick. The only trick is finding the video creator because Google will send you, nine times out of ten, to an old site that doesn’t actually have the video creation tool anymore. There are a lot of angry people out there who would love to use this tool, if only they could find it!

Here’s the link:

https://searchstories-intl.appspot.com/en-us/creator/

Bookmark it.

But before you go, there’s something else that’s important to be learned here. Go back through your links and see what you need to update. I just realized last night that I hadn’t updated my book page on my author site for awhile ( as in not since two books ago!) The page was out of date. Then I realized I needed to update my tags on a couple of my books on Amazon. I know we all have long to-do lists, but from time to time, go back and look at the pages you hardly ever look at. Revisit old blog rolls and see what links are dead or inactive. (I recently overhauled this page so I got rid of my blog roll completely and instead, to your left, you’ll see a nifty grid of blogs I follow.)

You don’t have to do it all at once, but little by little, cut out the dead wood, weed your garden and revamp. There’s surely stuff there that needs to change. When everything works right, your readers won’t thank you, but when something’s broken, it will really annoy them. Sadly, they still probably won’t tell you. They just won’t come back.

~ Robert Chazz Chute is the author of Bigger Than Jesus, Self-help for Stoners and other titles that bewilder, intrigue and mostly annoy. Ah, but you saw that in the video. Never mind. If you visit my author sales page, do a brother a solid and click “LIKE” and at the bottom of the books sales pages, please click “Agree with these tags.” That would help me, make you a better person and possibly cure your scurvy. Cheers!

UBC #23: Loves & hates & the Fab Blog Award (chazzwrites.com)
UBC TOP TEN: Everything we know is wrong. Stop That! (chazzwrites.com)

Filed under: publishing, Amazon, Amazon Kindle, Bigger than Jesus, blogging, etiquette, Google, google search stories, Robert Chazz Chute, search, search engine, technology, Ultimate Blog Challenge, video, YouTube

07/23/2012 • 1:53 PM 47

The Six Words or Less Contest that could get your name in a thriller

UPDATE: And now it’s time to vote for

the wittiest and pithiest entries in the

The Six Words or Less Contest

Choose your favorite from the comment thread below and e-mail your first choice to expartepress AT gmail DOT com.

Voting closes August 10. Three winners will be chosen.

The grand prize winner will get in my next thriller, Higher Than Jesus. (Details below.)

Click to get Bigger Than Jesus here

I’m holding a contest that could get your name in my new thriller.

The follow-up to my crime novel, Bigger Than Jesus is called Higher Than Jesus and it’s coming this fall.

Here’s the challenge: My hit man passes a homeless person in the street and gives him some money. The homeless person wears a black hoodie. I want something catchy and memorable on that hoodie. I thought about making an inside joke and making it a Self-help for Stoners emblem (my first book). I considered using a meme that’s already out there but kind of hipster, like the inside joke from Portal: There is no cake.

But no, I’m calling on the readership! What’s the short, punchy, pithy, memorable phrase that should adorn that black hoodie on the homeless guy on a cold winter’s night in Chicago? It could be funny. It could be pointed and political. Let’s hear it!

Leave your suggestion in the comment thread.

What do you get for your contribution?

(Yes, there is metaphorical cake!)

The winner gets lots of that cake!

“You will laugh your ass off! The skill of a journalist with the flair of a stand up comedian.” ~ Author Maxwell Cyn

A. I can name a character after you in Higher Than Jesus. (No guarantees whether the character will be good or bad, alive or dead. It’s crime fiction. I don’t have many characters who are good or get to live.)

B. When I get the print edition, I’ll send you a free autographed copy wherever you are in the world.

C. I’ll gift you a copy of the kindle ebook as soon as it’s available.

D. On my podcast, I’ll mention the top three entries and the grand prize winner will be exalted. Your name and your six words or less will be talked about in glowing terms.

E. BONUS: For the overall winner with the best six words or less, I’ll promote your book, business, favorite charity, website, podcast, pet’s name, shout out or whatever on my podcast (as long as the thing you want to promote isn’t some psycho white supremacist thing. Sounds good, yes?)

Please leave your suggestions in comments. On August 1, I’ll ask for a vote for the top three, so somebody’s getting bragging rights no matter what. Let’s have some fun with this. (I have to reserve the right to not use the top phrase in case there’s a legal or editorial reason not to use it, but the grand prize winner still gets the sweet cake of A, B and C. The decision of the judge — that’s me — is final since it’s my name on the book. No purchase necessary, void where prohibited and all that crap. I can’t think of any other rules we need, but I’ll make them up if necessary. Hopefully that won’t be necessary.)

With the details out of the way, have at it! This will be fun. Submit as much as you’d like.

Check out all the books by Robert Chazz Chute here.

Impress us with freshness and originality.

Make us laugh.

Make us think.

Just, please, do it in no more than six words. Thanks!

~Robert Chazz Chute is the author of Self-help for Stoners, Bigger Than Jesus, The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories, and Sex, Death & Mind Control (for fun and profit). Learn more at the author site or see the fun Amazon bio here.

UBC #15: What’s missing from this thriller’s back matter? (chazzwrites.com)
UBC #23: Loves & hates & the Fab Blog Award (chazzwrites.com)
Have you written a crime, thriller or psychological suspense novel? (madeleinemilburn.com)
UBC #14: Smart Free means Give it Away and Bank On It (chazzwrites.com)
UBC TOP TEN: Everything we know is wrong. Stop That! (chazzwrites.com)
Author Blog Challenge 18: The Top Ten Reasons You (yes! You!) crave this book (chazzwrites.com)
PODCAST: Bigger Than Jesus Chapter 1 (allthatchazz.com)
Top Ten: My best fight (chazzwrites.com)

Filed under: publishing, Amazon Kindle, Bigger than Jesus, Chicago, Contest, contest winner, crime fiction, crime novel, fiction, grand prize winner, memorable phrase, Podcast, prizes, Robert Chazz Chute, self-help for stoners, six words or less contest, stoner, Ultimate Blog Challenge

07/17/2012 • 7:13 AM 5

UBC TOP TEN: Everything we know is wrong. Stop That!

July 16, 17, 18

The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories is FREE

My son asked me if someone was as smart as they think they are. “No one is as smart as they think they are. A

Click here to get this fun book of suspense FREE until tomorrow at midnight.
Small-town terrors and psychological mayhem in Maine.

guy can be an idiot, but if you agree with him, you think he’s a genius.” It got me thinking what else we often get wrong.

1. Two heads aren’t better than one if the dumb, loud guy does all the talking.

2. Instead of instantly deferring to somebody who says, “Listen to me because I’ve done X for twenty years,” wonder this: Have they been doing it wrong for twenty years?

3. When you correct someone, are you out to help them or to feel superior? If it’s the first, thanks. If it’s the second, shut up. (And no one likes you.)

4. Are you reacting out of fear? Are you worried about terrorists when you’re far more likely to die from heart attack, cancer or a slippery bathtub? (Yes, you’re more likely to die from a slippery bathtub.)

5. Do you feel compassion for others or have you given up already because it’s all just too much and what can one person do? One person can make a big difference with one person. Start small. If you can’t handle actual human interactions and social contact, start with that lovely person in the mirror.

6. Are you paralyzed by analysis or waiting for permission? Don’t wait until conditions are perfect to change your life. Perfect never comes but the Good Enough Train is always on time. If you’re waiting for permission, chances are excellent you have lots of people in your life waiting for you to ask so they can refuse. (Choose allies carefully. Dump enemies in the river.)

7. Are you certain about something? Beware! Certainty is the cardinal sign that you aren’t as smart as you would like to think. Serial killers are very confident and have high self-esteem. Scientifically, the less informed we are about a subject, the more certain we are in our opinions. (Though I’m not sure about this. Don’t be too sure. Intelligent people are about nuance, which is why they often lose elections.)

8. Are you mad at someone? They know, but are you sure they understand why? They might change their behaviour if they knew. (Yes, I’m saying don’t be so passive aggressive and spineless and state your needs. And, for God’s sake, if they have spine enough to look at you perplexed and apologize, take the apology and move on. Don’t hold on to your resentments. If they don’t apologize, dump him, girl, because if you don’t stop him now, you will be picking up after him forever.)

9. Some people are very negative, hurtful even, and add, “I’m just being honest.” Really? Or are they congratulating themselves for being nasty? You already know the answer to that question if you have one of these miseries in your life. If you are one of these miseries, stop. If you’re putting up with one of these miseries, go back to #8.

10. People put too much faith in top ten lists, don’t you think? They sure sound authoritative. But I’m just another nit on the interwebs, pontificating. You shouldn’t listen to me. (Or am I using mind fu in a cheap ploy to ingratiate?) Make up your own mind about stuff. You can do that as long as you distrust your brain. It’s not just that people lie. It’s that your brain lies to you all the time, mostly to distract you from the existential horror of the abyss. and to protect us froth knowledge that, yes, we really do look that fat in these jeans. In fact, we’re fat all the time. Hm. Maybe a few lies aren’t so bad. Keeps us off the ledge.

Ancient people thought they knew everything there was to know about the nature of the universe.

Every age is the most modern age and the best minds from each age now sound stupid on lots of subjects.

The chances we now know what we’re doing is, statistically speaking, lousy.

~ Robert Chazz Chute is the author of Self-help for Stoners, The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories, Bigger Than Jesus, and Sex, Death & Mind Control (for fun and profit). The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories is the foundation of the Poeticule Bay suspense novels that are now in the works. This novella and short story bundle is free on Amazon until Wednesday night. Please go grab it and, if you love it, please review it. Thanks!

(To see all of Chazz’s books, click here.)

Ultimate Blog Challenge: Top 10 Things I know I don’t know (yet) (chazzwrites.com)
Author Blog Challenge #26: The demons in my head (chazzwrites.com)
The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories: Just released! (allthatchazz.com)
Top Ten: My best fight (chazzwrites.com)
PODCAST: Bigger Than Jesus Chapter 1 (allthatchazz.com)

Filed under: publishing, Advice, Amazon Kindle, Bigger than Jesus, Blog, blogger, blogging, Dangerous Kind & Other Stories, Opinion, relationships, Robert Chazz Chute, the brain, Top Ten, Ultimate Blog Challenge, writer, writing

07/10/2012 • 9:33 PM 2

UBC #14: Smart Free means Give it Away and Bank On It

I was really looking forward to using ACX.com to get my crime novel, Bigger Than Jesus, out there as an audiobook. Unfortunately, ACX isn’t ready to deal with non-US citizens yet. (Dang! Don’t hate me because I’m Canadian!) If you are a US citizen and an indie author, definitely consider ACX. It’s a great set up I learned about through Jeff Bennington.) Until then, I’m going to take the Scott Sigler approach to book promotion and podcast my books.

Scott Sigler was one of the first indie authors to podcast his books, chapter by chapter, and leave it up for free. He found, as he doled it out week by week, that lots of readers couldn’t wait a week for the next instalment. They wanted to buy the whole thing immediately. The strategy works and, despite all his success, Sigler continues to give the books away in audio form even though he’s now published traditionally. This podcast strategy flummoxed his publisher, whose sales force couldn’t understand how his sales kept going and going. Traditional publishing strategies don’t allow for free and expect spikes of sales followed by doldrums. That doesn’t happen with Sigler because he stays out there, available and free to sample and enjoy and building his fan base with, among other things, books as free podcasts. I should add that he’s a clever marketer, but the books are strong. No marketing strategy works if the writing isn’t strong. In fact, if your book is weak, good marketing may hasten its trip down to oblivion. That said, Sigler is a brilliant guy who keeps the free coming, but to maximum advantage. This isn’t Dumb Free: Give It All Away and Hope. This is Smart Free: Give it Away and Bank On It.

There’s another benefit to podcasting your book. The ebook of my crime novel is out now. I plan to release the Bigger Than Jesus paperback at the end of the month. Despite all the editorial eyes on the manuscript, there’s still a bit of tinkering I want to do before the print version is released. Last night, as I recorded another chapter, I realized there were still a couple of minor edits I wanted to address. Nothing that’s a huge deal, but we all want to get a little closer to perfection. Over the next two or three days, I’m doing a podcast marathon so I’ll have the whole book banked in its audio form. If there are any further niggles to tweak, I’ll find them. Reading your book aloud can be a powerful editing tool and, by podcasting the book a chapter at a time, I make the podcast do double duty.

Listen to Chapter 1 of Bigger Than Jesus now.

Ultimate Blog Challenge: Top 10 Things I know I don’t know (yet) (chazzwrites.com)
PODCAST: The In Defence of Dumb Edition (allthatchazz.com)
Ultimate Blog Challenge: Top 10 What I’ll soon do differently with my book promotion (chazzwrites.com)
Ultimate Blog Challenge: Top 10 things I wish I didn’t know about readers (chazzwrites.com)
Ultimate Blog Challenge: I am an artist, not a beggar (chazzwrites.com)
Author Blog Challenge 17: How to talk with your graphic designer about your book cover (chazzwrites.com)
Ultimate Blog Challenge: The Warm Chocolate Chip Cookie Exposition (chazzwrites.com)
Ultimate Blog Challenge: How to avoid signal fade on your blog and in your books (chazzwrites.com)
Ultimate Blog Challenge: Can you blog a book? Sure you can. (chazzwrites.com)
Podcasting Tools to Create Podcast (bloggingtips.com)
Building Your Podcast Audience is a Marathon Not A Sprint (davidjackson.org)
6 Steps to Creating an Audio Book (podiobooks.com)

Filed under: publishing, Amazon Kindle, Bigger than Jesus, book, crime fiction, crime novel, free podcasts, Podcast, Publish, publishing, Robert Chazz Chute, Scott Sigler, self-help for stoners, thriller

07/09/2012 • 11:09 PM 7

Ultimate Blog Challenge: Top 10 Things I know I don’t know (yet)

THINGS I DON’T KNOW INCLUDE:

1. How to push my stats for my author site (AllThatChazz.com) as high as this writing blog (though spillover should be inevitable.

English: John Leguizamo at the 2007 Toronto International Film Festival. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Or should it? Not so far.)

2. How to get more attention to my podcast (though numbers have gone up since I started reading Bigger Than Jesus a chapter at a time.)

3. Have I put off more readers than I’ve gained with my strange titles?

4. Should I have pushed the title of Self-help for Stoners harder when I met Kevin Smith in a video simulcast, or would that have made me look like a douche?

5. If I’d started writing books seriously twenty years ago, would I be happier now, or trapped in contracts I’d hate?

6. Did John Leguizamo ever read the blog post about casting him in the movie of Bigger Than Jesus? Probably not, but we all go ego surfing from time to time, don’t we?

7. Will I ever get Scrivener to work the way it says it works when I format my books? So far I just play with it until I get incrementally better but so far it’s more like stabbing a keyboard in the dark than arriving at solutions logically.

8. Will Amazon look at the numbers and switch their algorithm back to the way it was in December so giving away a ton of books means something useful in selling books on the paid side? (When an Amazon fan like Joe Konrath says, okay, I’m out of KDP Select until they change terms, we should all take notice.)

9. Will my books take off before I run out of money completely? I am in a race. (I just got some help with this and things might be looking up if a strategy I’m working on takes off. More on that later.)

Get Bigger Than Jesus

10. I don’t know if my gamble/mid-life crisis will pay off. I do know I’m glad I pulled the trigger. I’ll find out. It’s better than not ever knowing and looking back in regret at what might have been.

(UBC #14)

Ultimate Blog Challenge: The Warm Chocolate Chip Cookie Exposition (chazzwrites.com)
Ultimate Blog Challenge: Top 10 things I wish I didn’t know about readers (chazzwrites.com)
Ultimate Blog Challenge: Top 10 What I’ll soon do differently with my book promotion (chazzwrites.com)
Ultimate Blog Challenge: I am an artist, not a beggar (chazzwrites.com)
Author Blog Challenge 17: How to talk with your graphic designer about your book cover (chazzwrites.com)
AB Challenge 22: John Leguizamo, I know you’re reading this. Call me. (chazzwrites.com)

Filed under: publishing, Amazon, Amazon Kindle, Bigger than Jesus, book, John Leguizamo, Kevin Smith, mid life crisis, Robert Chazz Chute, Scrivener, Stoners, writing

07/09/2012 • 12:48 AM 15

Ultimate Blog Challenge: I am an artist, not a beggar

A forum post out of the cyber-ether really irritated me,

and not just because the person who posted was biased against self-publishing.

She was horribly misinformed and self-centered.

Her complaint is about “all these self-published authors begging for likes on their Facebook pages” and that apparently angered her by…okay, I’m not sure how that could bother her so much. Cluttering up her world, I guess. The strength of venom I detected is usually found in a rattler’s fangs. Anyway, let’s flesh out the ugly misconception in her deluded subtext:

1. It’s not just indie authors. All authors with a Facebook page ask for “likes”. The more important likes are the like and buy buttons of our Amazon pages, but we all want to be liked. Most traditionally published authors understand that their publisher’s publicists are already stretched too thin, are often less effective than publicity that comes directly from authors and what resources that are channelled toward their books tend to be minuscule and fleeting.

2. It’s not begging. It’s asking politely and you often get something in exchange, like free entertainment, free education (like this post) and books that are much cheaper than what you’d pay a traditional publisher. All my books are currently priced at $2.99. That’s couch change — an impulse buy — for professionally published books. For less than the cost of one Starbucks coffee you get hours of entertainment I am happy to provide. I am an artist, not a beggar.

I’m not asking for loose change in exchange for nothing. I’m offering you a chance at relaxed Sunday afternoon with a book when it’s too hot to go outside; a cozy read on a winter’s night when you can’t sleep; suspense that won’t let you go to sleep; a euphoric discovery that will delight you and might even change you. Yeah, you betcha that’s a bargain. If you refuse, no hard feelings.

3. Providing you with information or the opportunity to help out is not spam. It’s a question you don’t even have to answer. Get over yourself or turn off your Internet connection and take a break. I’m sorry the world isn’t catering to you. It’s not catering to me, either, but I suspect I hate fewer people than you do. I’d define spam as bombarding people with ads that provide no value, are out to scam you and a steady stream of blaring that gives you no opportunity to opt out. (i.e. You don’t get to complain if you decide for yourself you’re going to read it.)

4. Ignoring the request takes nothing from you. Simply ignoring a request takes the bare minimum of tolerance. This person must be a nightmare in real life. How would she handle a real problem?

5. Why all the animus toward authors? Helping out costs nothing and I don’t think authors have any bad feelings toward those who don’t bother to “like” their books on Amazon, click “Agree with these tags” button on Amazon (it’s toward the bottom of each sales page) and “like” their Facebook page. (Thanks for helping to spread the word. And if you didn’t, no hard feelings.)

6. Ads are only irritating if you aren’t interested. On the computer, I click away. If assailed by the TV, I ignore it, fast forward, check my email or get up from the couch and get a glass of water. Indie authors (well, everyone) deserve more compassion than the complainer was willing to bestow. Sadly because the complainer might even love our work if she gave it a chance.

7. Despite my frustrated tone here, I know authors are not entitled to sales any more than Wal-mart or Toyota “deserves” your sales. We don’t even “deserve” your attention. That’s the myth of the entitled author I hear so much about. I honestly haven’t met many authors who suffer that delusion.

We get it. It’s a book. To most, “just” a book. We write them and lots of people don’t care. A lot of people don’t even read! Still, we stand behind our work and hope to find our audience. We hope our audience finds us. If I’m speaking to a crowd, I’m not speaking to everyone and I know it. Please be patient and polite while I direct my audience toward my books. I promise I won’t take long doing it and I’ll be as entertaining and quick as I can as I ask these things. You can always opt out.

Whether you’re indie or traditionally published, the promotion for your book really is up to you, your tribe, your followers and your readers. Publishers do very little for most authors. Stephen King gets a big promotional budget. That’s right. The authors who need the promotion least get the biggest boost because it’s a simple business decision: the publisher banks on the biggest title. Big publisher or small, these are the evaluations we all have to make.

I make that same evaluation every week. I have two very new titles just released in June. One is a short story

Get Bigger Than Jesus

collection bundled with a novella, The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories. The other is my crime thriller, Bigger Than Jesus, the first in a series. Which do I spend my limited resources promoting? Obviously, the crime thriller.

No short story collection will sell as well as a thriller. In all likelihood, my short story collections’ sales (there are three collections in all) will come after readers decide they like my flavor by discovering the novel. Some of the stories include characters and references that cross books, so there’s cross-pollination going on, too. The short story collections are great, but they’re harder to sell (though they will be a valuable long term sales avenue.)

Yes, we have to interact and connect and make connections and help others to be heard.

Endure a little promotion amid all that for art’s sake.

Everybody’s trying to make a living

and civility is the grease to the gears of civilization.