C h a z z W r i t e s . c o m

Unless you write as a hobby, authors need fans. Not just casual readers. Fans. Here are the 5Ws of getting sexy.

The Why

1. Authors need reviews as social proof in order to gain more readers.
2. Promotional sites often require a minimum number of reviews and/or a minimum rating before we can advertise on those platforms to find more readers.
3. When we’re feeling down and hopeless, it’s the fans that bring us back up and get us writing again.

The What

1. Buy our art so we can make more art. Poverty and hunger pangs distracts us from our mission. (Also please be aware, pirate sites give your devices cancer and infect your soul with incurable scabies.)
2. Tell other readers about your favorite authors. Word of mouth makes our kung fu strong.
3. Please review our books.
4. Stock up on our books for Christmas gifts.
5. Let your favorite author know you’re rooting for them. A quick email or tweet will make their day. This is a tough business, and some of us are prone to anxiety and depression. (Stares hard.)

The Where

1. Review what you love wherever you bought the book. Seek out that “Write a Review” button. It’s on the book’s sales page somewhere.
2. Tell your local bookstore you want to order your favorite author’s book.
3. Tell your librarian the same.
4. Tell your friends down at the ole swimmin’ hole, during a bank heist, at the golf course, and on Zoom.
5. Suggest books to your enemies with the passive aggressive message that reading more will contribute to their personal growth and increase their capacity for empathy. Those bastards probably won’t take your recommendation, but you can walk away feeling good about that sick burn.
6. Share your reviews and book recommendations on social media.

The Who

1. You, if you’re a reader and you like art someone produced.
2. If you’re an author reading this, I get it. You’re too humble. You’re self-conscious about asking for help. Your Dad, who loves David Baldacci books, isn’t keen on your thrillers, and hates your horror and science fiction. It’s okay. The people who support you understand you need to keep writing and buy groceries. Ask for help.
3. Dad, if you’re reading this, I won’t be sending you my latest apocalyptic novel for Christmas. A David Baldacci book is on the way. Never mind, go back to listening to Lawrence Welk. And no, we won’t be talking about this.*
   
   *Okay, #2 and #3 of this section might involve some…ahem…projection.

The When

1. No time like the present.
2. See #1.
3. The Rule of 3 compels me to add #3. (Also, it should be CDO because OCD is in the wrong order.)

BONUS: What Fans Receive in Return

1. Writers give you their dreams for a small price and, by spreading the love, you help them fulfill their dreams. Priceless.
2. You might get more books from that author or more books in a series you enjoy. If there aren’t enough sales and/or reviews on a series, the ROI isn’t there so chances are solid said series could die on the vine.
3. The joy of helping other readers discover something they might love. Recommending books feels good.
4. The fun of having someone share the experience of the book. Then you’ll have a fellow reader with whom you can discuss the book.
5. Being the sort of person who reads and recommends books makes you look smarter. It’s more powerful than the nerdiest of nerd glasses and you will instantly become 87% sexier. 87%! That’s just science.
6. In reading our pithy, funny amazing novels, you will find jokes you can later pass off as your own in casual conversation.
7. You will earn our eternal gratitude, and who doesn’t want the warm fuzzies from a group of maniacs who sit around all day fantasizing about new and clever ways to get away with murder?
   
   EDIT: The police inform me that #7 came off as more threatening than I intended. So…hey! Eternal gratitude! You got it!

~ I’m Robert Chazz Chute. Find all my apocalyptic epics and killer crime thrillers at AllThatChazz.com.

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