07/25/2012 • 7:24 PM 0
See on Scoop.it – Writing and reading fiction
Look guys and gals in publishing, sit down. You can bring in your Coco Water. Totally. Yeah. We have some gluten-free sandwiches coming in and I promise this won’t affect summer hours. You can still not come in on Friday.
Funny, cutting, biting, growling. Learn at the link! ~ Chazz
See on techcrunch.com
Filed under: publishing
07/24/2012 • 8:08 PM 1
Caleb Medley
You are just 23 years old, about to become a dad. Your wife, lovely and only 21, is about to give birth to your son any day now. You plan to call your son Hugo. You have dreams that you will be a stand up comic one day. You’ve done some open mics. You’re working toward your dreams. You can hardly wait for your baby to arrive. Life is good. Tonight, for one last night, you’ll go to a midnight movie première without a care, without having to think about arranging for a babysitter or calling home to check on the baby. It’s going to be like any other night, but it’s your last outing with your pregnant wife, so it’s a milestone in the arc of your life.
You’re in the theatre, having some popcorn. The movie’s fun. Then, twenty minutes into The Dark Knight Rises, a man with a gun bursts through an exit door and throws a canister of some kind of gas. The shooting starts and for about 15 seconds that feels like forever, by the light of the movie screen, the silhouette of the man with the gun fires and fires and fires ninety shots into the scrambling, panicked, screaming crowd. Everything you took for granted — what everyone took for granted — is turning upside down and disappearing. The nightmare gets worse. The light from the screen is gone and you’re lost in darkness. There is a dim light by the exit at the rear of the theatre. Do you cover your wife and baby and, in urgent whispers, beg her to play dead? Do you grab her hand and make a desperate run for the exit? No one knows what to do. There is only screaming, agony and gunfire. Help is coming. You don’t know it, but brave police officers are rushing to stop the chaos and help you. They will be on the crime scene, your battleground, within an amazing 90 seconds. Meanwhile, your mind is on a loop: This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. Wake up!
You hear a roar in the darkness and a giant fist has crushed your face, your head, smacking you to the sticky floor. For all it describes, pain is such a tiny, inadequate word. Your last thought is of your wife and child and all the years you won’t have together. Your hopes and dreams are ashes at the whim of a crazy person with an assault rifle and a shotgun. The world fades to black. The man will be arrested. Ambulances will be called and paramedics, urgent and sure, will be here soon. But it’s too late for you.
You are Caleb Medley. You’re lying on a ICU bed in a medically induced coma and you’ll be in the netherworld between waking and dying for at least a week. Maybe two. You hear sounds through a fog. The disembodied voices of loved ones reach down to you from a far, high place. They whisper everything will be okay, but you’ve got to get better. You’ve been shot in the eye, but the doctors are hopeful you will live. Live, please live, because your newborn son is waiting in his mother’s arms. What you don’t know yet is that your medical bills will rocket up to between one and two million dollars. There are operations ahead. Rehab therapy will be hard. There will be bills for expensive drugs. You will lose work and time. You’ve missed the birth of your son.
What you don’t know yet is that we are watching in horror. You don’t have insurance to help with your recovery, but that doesn’t mean your life is over before your dreams have a chance to take flight. We are sitting at our computers and watching television and we are thinking about you. We’re talking about you and we’re worried. We’re shocked because, though we like to think we are powerful, this could have happened to any one of us or our loved ones. You were just in the wrong place at the wrong time and no one should have to pay for that forever. We know what we have to do. The human family is answering the call. We are telling others through social media, our blogs, our friends and our neighbors. We’re picking up our phones and gathering our forces. One madman can diminish us all in a sick act of violence, but working together, we can elevate everyone once more with our compassion. Humanity survives every insult and injury because of our compassion.
We will help in whatever way we can. You haven’t asked. You’re still in the netherworld, clawing your way back to us from the darkness, but we know what to do. We’re spreading the word and gathering money to help you and your family get past this tragedy. Sleep, Caleb. Rest. Your life is not over. You, your wife and your son will have a new beginning. We’re coming as fast as we can. Help is on the way. We, too, are brave, urgent and sure.
We may not have much to give, but we have great numbers on our side. We are an army filled with compassion, so every donation, even a dollar, helps.
(Need to know more? Check the links below.)
Filed under: publishing, assistance, Aurora, Aurora shooting, Aurora shooting victim, Caleb, Caleb Medley, charity, Colorado, Colorado University Hospital, Dark Knight Rises, donate, give, help, helping others, SOS, supportcaleb.com
07/23/2012 • 1:53 PM 47
Voting closes August 10. Three winners will be chosen.
The grand prize winner will get in my next thriller, Higher Than Jesus. (Details below.)
Click to get Bigger Than Jesus here
I’m holding a contest that could get your name in my new thriller.
The follow-up to my crime novel, Bigger Than Jesus is called Higher Than Jesus and it’s coming this fall.
Here’s the challenge: My hit man passes a homeless person in the street and gives him some money. The homeless person wears a black hoodie. I want something catchy and memorable on that hoodie. I thought about making an inside joke and making it a Self-help for Stoners emblem (my first book). I considered using a meme that’s already out there but kind of hipster, like the inside joke from Portal: There is no cake.
But no, I’m calling on the readership! What’s the short, punchy, pithy, memorable phrase that should adorn that black hoodie on the homeless guy on a cold winter’s night in Chicago? It could be funny. It could be pointed and political. Let’s hear it!
Leave your suggestion in the comment thread.
What do you get for your contribution?
(Yes, there is metaphorical cake!)
“You will laugh your ass off! The skill of a journalist with the flair of a stand up comedian.” ~ Author Maxwell Cyn
A. I can name a character after you in Higher Than Jesus. (No guarantees whether the character will be good or bad, alive or dead. It’s crime fiction. I don’t have many characters who are good or get to live.)
B. When I get the print edition, I’ll send you a free autographed copy wherever you are in the world.
C. I’ll gift you a copy of the kindle ebook as soon as it’s available.
D. On my podcast, I’ll mention the top three entries and the grand prize winner will be exalted. Your name and your six words or less will be talked about in glowing terms.
E. BONUS: For the overall winner with the best six words or less, I’ll promote your book, business, favorite charity, website, podcast, pet’s name, shout out or whatever on my podcast (as long as the thing you want to promote isn’t some psycho white supremacist thing. Sounds good, yes?)
Please leave your suggestions in comments. On August 1, I’ll ask for a vote for the top three, so somebody’s getting bragging rights no matter what. Let’s have some fun with this. (I have to reserve the right to not use the top phrase in case there’s a legal or editorial reason not to use it, but the grand prize winner still gets the sweet cake of A, B and C. The decision of the judge — that’s me — is final since it’s my name on the book. No purchase necessary, void where prohibited and all that crap. I can’t think of any other rules we need, but I’ll make them up if necessary. Hopefully that won’t be necessary.)
With the details out of the way, have at it! This will be fun. Submit as much as you’d like.
Check out all the books by Robert Chazz Chute here.
Impress us with freshness and originality.
Make us laugh.
Make us think.
Just, please, do it in no more than six words. Thanks!
~Robert Chazz Chute is the author of Self-help for Stoners, Bigger Than Jesus, The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories, and Sex, Death & Mind Control (for fun and profit). Learn more at the author site or see the fun Amazon bio here.
Filed under: publishing, Amazon Kindle, Bigger than Jesus, Chicago, Contest, contest winner, crime fiction, crime novel, fiction, grand prize winner, memorable phrase, Podcast, prizes, Robert Chazz Chute, self-help for stoners, six words or less contest, stoner, Ultimate Blog Challenge
07/22/2012 • 9:12 PM 2
This is a blog about responsible media policy.
I’ve read some bizarre ideas floating around since a crazy person shot and killed people at a midnight première of the new Batman movie. A lot of people are asking if the Batman film is to blame. (It was the première. The guy hadn’t even seen the movie, so it couldn’t have been as important to him as some may imagine.) Yes, the shooter called himself The Joker, but what was probably more important to him was that he hurt and kill as many people as possible. He found a place where the most people would gather in a confined space so he could attack more effectively.
We’ve seen this before. The attack in Aurora happened just twelve miles from Columbine. Despite that experience, the media is jumping to the same mistakes. We were told the Columbine shooters were inspired by The Matrix. That was later proved false. Heavy metal has also been blamed, but for every expert who claims there’s a connection between violence in media and violence in real life, there are a bunch more psychologists who will tell you violence in media, video games and porn actually decrease violence.
Worse, many of those complaining of the connection aren’t experts at all. Instead, they are people playing a political game in the media for their own ends and axe-grinding. For intense, with the so-called cannibal attack of several weeks ago, some in law enforcement announced that a new drug was to blame: bath salts. The media dutifully reported the new danger threatening us all: Bath salt druggies turn into zombies. That guy was crazy, no doubt, but he wasn’t on bath salts. Worse still, there was no way for anyone to say what he was on. They made the announcement immediately, but the actually drug test would take much longer. (Eventually, only marijuana was found in the attacker’s system.) There were no bath salts and those who said it was bath salts couldn’t have known what it was. That was just somebody ginning up a story for their own ends. The decriers fade away after they’re disproved, but the media will listen to them again next time with equal credulity. Meanwhile, lots of people still think it was bath salts that turned a mentally disturbed person into a homeless zombie who ate another homeless man’s face. Media: Wise up. You’re being used. Or are you doing the using for ratings?
As for the eager censors, ready to make a connection between entertainment and the actions of the lowest common mental denominator, I’m reminded of Mark Twain’s quip. He said that a censor is a person who would prohibit us all from eating steak because a baby would choke on it. There are arguments to be made about keeping guns out of the hands of disturbed people and helping to identify the signs of crazy. As time progresses, we’ll have the gun control debate again, probably with no change.
The only thing I see that could be acted upon immediately is this: Media. Stop naming the shooter. He wanted attention and there may be another disturbed person thinking of copycat actions. Focus more on the victims and the heroes of this tragedy. Those are the names and actions I want to know. I don’t need to know more about this particular insane and violent perpetrator. Journalists, in general, have refrained from reporting suicides for decades to decrease celebrating suicidal people. Please exercise some restraint, take responsibility, and downplay the identity of the shooter. I’m not worried at all about fictional violence that happens in books and on film. I write crime fiction, the operative word being: Fiction. When it shows up on the news in a celebratory frenzy, it might be a trigger that reporters help to pull.
Filed under: publishing, Aurora, Aurora Colorado, Bath Salt, bath salts, Batman, batman film, columbine shooters, Mark Twain, responsible media, shooting. media violence, Violence, Violence and Abuse, violence in media
07/22/2012 • 9:34 AM 0
See on Scoop.it – Writing and reading fiction
Karen Baney gives great guidelines for formatting your paperback. Learn at the link. ~ Chazz
See on www.karenbaney.com
Filed under: publishing
07/20/2012 • 1:11 PM 1
See on Scoop.it – Writing and reading fiction
The performance of Author Solutions is so poor that the press release announcing the purchase by Penguin can’t even tout their own customers’ success, and instead lists self-publishing stars such as “Lisa Genova, John Locke, Darcie Chan, Amanda…
David Gaughran suggests we spread the word about his objections to Penguin’s takeover of Author Solutions. After you read his article, you’ll want to do just that. Learn at the link. ~ Chazz
See on indiereader.com
Filed under: publishing
07/19/2012 • 5:34 AM 12
Future Pull awarded me a Fabulous Blog Award. Cool! Thanks so much! Part of the deal is I thank the blogger who gave me the award. (Ding! Done!) Then I a. name five fabulous moments; b. name five things I love; c. name five things I hate; d. pass the award on to five other deserving bloggers.
Fab moments. The first three, you’d expect:
Click for Self-help for Stoners.
1. Marrying She Who Must Be Obeyed AKA The High Queen.
2. The birth of The Princess.
3. The birth of the Prince.
4. Healing a woman confined to a wheelchair for 12 years. She’s still walking, driving, travelling and living independently.
5. Meeting director Kevin Smith and giving him an autographed copy of my first book, Self-help for Stoners.
Loves in no particular order:
1. Celebrating with chocolate croissants when I finished my first crime thriller, Bigger Than Jesus. It was an orgy.
2. A good book and me by the fireplace during a snowstorm.
3. Hot, sweet coffee.
4. My Mac.
5. See 1, 2 and 3 of Fab Moments above.
Click to get Bigger Than Jesus here
Hates:
1. Power-mad twits.
2. Hateful twits.
3. Bigoted twits.
4. Right-wing radio (That’s pretty much 1, 2, 3.)
5. I guess it really all comes down to twits.
Bloggers (tough one):
1. Writing is Hard Work Helped me in my struggles with Scrivener.
2. Let’s Get Digital David keeps me informed on the latest in digital publishing. Smart fellow.
3. Eden Baylee’s Blog She’s an erotic writer who writes erotica (and that was a really fun author interview).
4. Matthew Iden He’s been especially helpful on keeping me current on the new Kobo platform.
5. FUONLYKNEW Cool reviews. (Love the animated graphic on her blog, too.)
Filed under: publishing, Awards, Blog, bloger, blogging, director kevin smith, Fabulous Blog Award, hates, Kevin Smith, loves, Ultimate Blog Challenge, writer, writing
07/18/2012 • 9:13 PM 1
See on Scoop.it – Writing and reading fiction
I am just back from an amazing Thrillerfest, the annual convention of the International Thriller Writers in New York.
I’d love to go to Thrillerfest someday. In the meantime, here’s Joanna Penn’s 50 points. Learn at the link. ~ Chazz
See on www.thecreativepenn.com
Filed under: publishing
07/18/2012 • 8:19 AM 1
Click here to get this fun book of suspense FREE until tonight at midnight.
Small-town terrors and psychological mayhem in Poeticule Bay, Maine.
IF YOU HAVEN’T GRABBED IT YET, PLEASE DO SO AND IF YOU LOVE IT, PLEASE REVIEW IT. THANKS!
And now the mind trick that could change your life, if the force is with you:
A buddy of mine runs a business. He found his employees weren’t getting invoices done at the end of the day. Memos down and promises up weren’t working. To solve the problem, he went around to the employees one-by-one in the last half hour of each day and asked for them to put the paperwork on his desk before they left. No, they shouldn’t have needed babysitting. Yes, they should have understood that getting the invoices recorded daily is fuel for the engine of business. However, it was necessary so he made them aware he was watching. It worked.
Accountability works. Measurement works.
Now how can we who are solo entrepreneurs and artists use that management strategy?
We have to manage ourselves. What to do?
No one is checking on me so when I want to get something done, I don’t use a to-do list I’m going to ignore and/or fail. I use my imagination. Want to lose weight, complete a project or be a better person? Imagine a film crew is following you around and catching every move. Maybe it’s an inspiring documentary or maybe you’re the hero of your own action thriller. What do heroes and heroines do? Do that. The camera’s eye might make you cook with a little more flair and crack eggs one-handed. Maybe it sounds stupid, but this Jedi mind trick made me a better tennis player.
The key is decide who you want to be. Now be that.
Embrace the role. Method act. Fake it till you make it.
Pretend! Play!
And kill anyone who stands in your way.
(Depending on what type of movie you’re making.)
Don’t have a Kindle? You don’t need one. Download a free Kindle reading app for any device here so you can read The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories here free. Today is this book’s last free day ever.)
Filed under: publishing, Blog, blogger, blogging, Business, entrepreneur, Jedi, jedi mind trick, management, mind trick, self-management, to-do list, Ultimate Blog Challenge, writer, writing
07/17/2012 • 9:51 PM 2
As you regular readers know, I love Kevin Smith. Here’s another reason.
(And yes, this applies to books, too.)
Filed under: publishing, #Makestuff, Art, creatives, Criticism, critics, critique, entertainment, film criticism, Kevin Smith, make stuff, movies, video, writer, writing
Winner of Writer's Digest's 2014 Honorable Mention in Self-published Ebook Awards in Genre
The first 81 lessons to get your Buffy on
More lessons to help you survive Armageddon
"You will laugh your ass off!" ~ Maxwell Cynn, author of Cybergrrl
Fast-paced terror, new threats, more twists.
An autistic boy versus our world in free fall
Suspense to melt your face and play with your brain.
Action like a Guy Ritchie film. Funny like Woody Allen when he was funny.
Jesus: Sexier and even more addicted to love.
You can pick this ebook up for free today at this link: http://bit.ly/TheNightMan
See my books, blogs, links and podcasts.
C h a z z W r i t e s . c o m 