Etiquette to forget: Podcast, blog and be bold

Grab the newest podcast here! Also? I'm much nicer than I look.

I am very active in social media with the aim of boosting ebook sales, yours and mine. One of the ways I reach out to new readers is my weekly comedy/narrative podcast, Self-help for Stoners, named after one of my books in a desperate, craven marketing ploy (so, no, you don’t have to be a stoner to love it.) I’m upping the stakes and, as of tonight’s podcast (March 1) I’m making a bigger play for more new listeners and readers. Yes, I’ll risk being obnoxious here and there. More on that in a minute. First, a word about attitude and bravery.

We must have a distinctive voice in our blogging, marketing and podcasting. Recently, some bloggers said we should conduct ourselves so we don’t offend anyone. Act like we’re in church and stay relentlessly positive if you expect to sell any books. It’s kindly Sex, Death and Mind Controlmeant  advice, but I don’t believe it. Follow that formula and few people will follow you because you don’t have anything much to say. You won’t make a joke or a point. I say have an opinion and the courage of your convictions. That’s why tonight I turned my podcast upside down.

Your blog must inform or entertain (preferably both.) Don’t sweat someone disagreeing with you. What you really have to worry about is boring them.

I’m not out to make anyone angry about my podcast, though some people will be, especially with the podcast I’m releasing this evening. It’s become an experimental playground. In the past, I started out with reading excerpts from my fiction and doing little comedy bits. Then I slid sideways from reading fictive excerpts to straight narrative, totally improvised and often nakedly honest. I’ve talked about the friend I most admire, losing friends and misplacing friends.  I told a long story about embarrassing myself while mocking someone at Starbucks. I took two podcasts to detail my journey to meet celebrities Kevin Smith and Jason Mewes. And tonight? As they used to say on Monty Python, “And now for something completely different…”

In tonight’s podcast (The Buckle Up & Brace Yourself Edition of Self-help for Stoners) I’m opening that envelope further. It took me about forty minutes to record it though after editing it came in at about half an hour. (A little punchier than my usual 40 minutes or so and I talk much faster with a lot more energy.) There was no script. I did not slow down to contemplate. It was a sprint in tiny surreal chunks with no transitions. Besides Skylanders and illiterate solicitors, I talk about why I’m an atheist and I relate an argument I got into with a fundamentalist Christian. This is dangerous territory. Many people would say, “Stay away from religion and politics!” However, I listen to many podcasts, and what I like best about them is authenticity. I don’t say anything I don’t believe just to provoke someone. I do occasionally say things I don’t believe in the service of fiction or a joke, but those instances will usually be obvious. (e.g. Vivisecting those puppies? Wasn’t me.)

I’m no Howard Stern, but this divide does remind me of a tidbit from his movie: People who love Stern listen to his show for about an hour. People who hate him listen for two hours. I’m not nearly that controversial and I won’t be engaging in spanking lesbians on air. (That service is only by request, by appointment and applicants? Please include a picture.)

What if God gives you what you want? What if you win an argument against God?

We worry about saying too much so we’re less than honest and worse? Dull. You may not lose readers or listeners if you’re really careful about what you say, but that’s not playing to win new readers and listeners, either. Playing it safe is sometimes the worst thing you can do. I plan to test that theory with this podcast. The metrics will make it obvious. I hope to get more reviews of the podcast with this format experiment. I hope the reviews will be happy and spur the curious to buy my books. Or they will annoy someone but they’ll know I exist. I’m not worried about the easily offended, but your indifference scares the crap out of me. More iTunes reviews and likes on Stitcher might help put my little weekly podcast on the radar. Is it a long-term shift? I don’t know, though I do like that I bring so much more energy to the podcast when I’m in rant mode. I stammer less when I let go and just go for it. Freewheeling off the top of my head with the little story about the murderous clown under your bed was fun, too.

If you care to check out this and past podcasts, you’ll definitely hear the difference, though I contend that, yes, I always had something meaningful to say, whether I was shouting it or droning in that sporadic Quaalude monotone, my damnable spasmodic Shatnerian cadence. Sometimes that little stammer of mine makes me wince and I think I just want to write my twisty and twisted little stories of suspense. Let people find me instead of putting myself out there. Writing stories is the core and that’s the most fun. But then there’s a cogent thought or a laugh I get from messing around on the mic and I remember that podcasting is some of the most fun I ever have marketing my books. It might be fun for you, too. As Mom used to say to me every day, “You’re a nut.” But more often than not, she said it with a grin instead of chagrin.

~ Robert Chazz Chute is the author of a bunch of weird ebooks of suspense that are full of delightful surprises, like punches in your brain from out of the dark. Take the ebook (or paperback!) Self-help for Stoners, for instance: The first story features a starlet who returns home to a town that hates her. There are bossy admonitions about rebuilding your life and making your dreams come true. Then you learn how to beat a murder charge in Texas with nothing but a skunk and a smile. There’s sci-fi that’s low tech. You’ll really enjoy the gay German dinosaur. There’s a pseudo-erotic story which turns out to be funny instead of titillating. There’s no gore or porn, but you will lock your doors and question your fellow man and think: On drugs? Stop! Not on drugs? Start! It’s simply the best collection of dark fiction you’ve never read and it must be true because I, your ever-loving author, said so.

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Mad as Hell! Huge Problem with the Book Pricing Options!

Via Scoop.itWriting and reading fiction
We’re always talking about self-publishing ebooks here, but what about paper books published independently. At WDLady’s The Nightmare Never Ends blog, she details her trials in dealing with CreateSpace and paperbook pricing. Check this link for more (and some cool illustrative cartoons.) ~ Chazz    

This is me calling the Createspace Support Representative about my book pricing options…This is me finding out that I’m going to be making -$2.13 for a book that’s $4.99…

Via wdlady.wordpress.com

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The majority of book bloggers are female … and other interesting blogging stats

Via Scoop.itWriting and reading fiction

Marcie Brock, the Book Marketing Maven, supplies some interesting stats about book bloggers. “Each maintains an average of three blogs”? Wow.   But the one statistic that surprised her most surprised me most, too. Readers here might shudder a little bit. Before you click the link below, ask yourself what percentage of book bloggers own an e-reader? Now click the Scoopit! link below and feel your eyes go WIDE! ~ Chazz

The majority of book bloggers are female … and other interesting blogging stats
At long last, we’re moving on from our general conversation about social media to more specifics…
Via marciebrockbookmarketingmaven.wordpress.com

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Why Amazon’s KDP Select Is God’s Gift to Authors

Via Scoop.itWriting and reading fiction

In this guest post on The Creative Penn, my buddy Jeff Bennington lays out how KDP Select worked for him, with numbers! ~ Chazz
Via www.thecreativepenn.com

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Smashwords — PayPal vs Erotica Debate Update & a New Deadline

Via Scoop.itWriting and reading fiction
Mark Coker responds to critics and says the issue is not only bigger than Smashwords. It’s bigger than PayPal! Read on for the update on the deadline extension and the “sliver of hope.” Click the link for Mark Coker’s latest letter on the censorship debate. ~ Chazz
Via www.smashwords.com

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Two Legs Bad: An Open Letter to Mark Coker | Remittance Girl : Erotic Fiction, Stories and Series

Via Scoop.itWriting and reading fiction

This post is a public response to an email sent by Mark Coker, founder of Smashwords, asking all erotic writers to take down any books that contravene their…
Via remittancegirl.com

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Using Twitter Effectively: The Magic of Tweet Adder

Via Scoop.itWriting and reading fiction

(Great breakdown of a powerful tool. Mike has a lot of great stuff to enjoy and think about on his site. Click the link and consider Tweet Adder. ~ Chazz)
Via authormichaelhicks.com

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What moves books? And what is ‘Parketing’ anyway?

Successful book marketing campaigns often do a lot of things at once, especially at first, before awareness of your book grows. Author Jeff Bennington, for instance, has noticed that online marketing of his books takes an hour out of each day or sales begin to dip. (More on getting you and your books’ global fame in a minute, but first let’s talk attitudes, parketing and my terrible personal deficiencies as a book marketer.)

Someone’s already saying, “An hour a day? Who has that kind of time? When will I have time to write?” You’re an artist, but you’re an artist in business. Businesses need to advertise. You’d make time to send out invoices, so make time to make people aware of your books unless you’re content writing for yourself and your kids. (Fortunately, lots of online marketing is cheap, free and fun, so there’s that.) Down the road, once you reach critical mass, maybe you’ll be able to get away with doing less marketing, but I doubt it. Coke still advertises. Manage your time and make it work.

Here’s one cheap way to promote local awareness of your books: I first heard of parketing (though it wasn’t called that then) at a writers’ conference three years ago. The marketing guru fired lots of ideas at us: blogging, tweeting, podcasts…the usual, though it was all newer, scarier stuff then. Then the guru asked, “How many of you have a car magnet advertising the cover of your book?” Not a single hand was raised, of course. The marketing guru snarked, “Yeah, why would you want to let anyone know you have a book for sale?” Park your car where lots of people will see it with your lovely book cover on it and voilà! That’s parketing.

It’s a digital world, so old-school attempts to market a book are often overlooked, often with justification. However, you may want to consider parketing in certain circumstances. This is one of those advertising strategies that has “short term” written all over it. It could work for the short term because no one is doing it. No one is doing it because your first reaction is that it sounds silly or maybe even naive or worse, beneath your dignity. If you habitually park your car in a high-visibility area (say, outside a bookstore at the mall) it sounds a little less silly. When you consider the number of businesses that do advertise this way, successfully, it sounds even less nuts. If your pockets are shallow, you can still do this. I got my car magnet from Vistaprint for less than $20.

Parketing works much better if you’re prepared to ask a bunch of friends to put car magnets on their vehicles, too. If your pockets are very deep, you could even go for the full paint job. Do that and you’ve got a marketing campaign started in your city and the basis for a press release to local newspapers and magazines. Sure, we market our ebooks globally, but we shouldn’t turn up our noses at getting noticed locally. That’s one way to get critical mass going. People in your own city, especially media, are more interested in local authors because they have a sense of ownership and familiarity with local authors. There’s a business in my city that seems to be everywhere because each employee gets a free paint job on their vehicle advertising the business. Everywhere they drive, they are advertising. It’s not that large a company (or even a particularly good one), but their ad-plastered cars seem ubiquitous, reminding everyone daily, “Here we are!”

The ad on my van gets attention because it’s just so damn weird. There is surely not another author advertising his or her book with a car magnet for hundreds of miles, so people slow down to read it. I’ve watched them slow down to look. Has it translated to sales? I don’t know. It’s just one car magnet for one book, but I do know people are reading the ad. For me, this little strategy is really  just about promoting awareness so I get my name familiar. For what I spent, I’m okay with that. We gravitate toward the familiar, buying name brands instead of the unknown product (which could be just as good or better but you don’t recognize the label.) When I shop the local Asian food market, I’m actually physically uncomfortable with the cans of unknown weird stuff even though I know it’s not weird. It’s merely different. (I’m weird.)

It’s all the other stuff I do that will make the difference in the long term. There is no one way to move books. Online marketing is going to do much more  because it’s everywhere. For instance, I’ve been on the air, or talked about, on six different podcasts recently (besides my own weekly podcast). That will go a lot further toward gaining some vague familiarity with my name as an author than a car magnet will for one book. Plus, I love podcasting, so I’ll always have that.

Have you guessed this post is not really about putting a magnet on your car? It’s about using multiple strategies to get attention to your books. Marketing campaigns that are single-pronged attacks do not move books. Try a lot of things, even the weird ideas if they make sense to you. Experiment and have fun with it if you can. Try to get your name out there, arriving from several places, preferably at once. We must reach outside of our circles of family and friends to move books.

I’m often reluctant to try new book marketing  strategies until I see them tested by others. That’s why I missed out on the benefit of KDP Select while some others made whacko cash last December. I haven’t jumped on Pinterest because I read one blog about their scary terms of service. These are my deficiencies. I’m often too timid about doing things that are good for me. Everything new feels weird at first. Unfamiliar doesn’t mean wrong. Unfamiliar simply means unfamiliar. In our marketing efforts, should we proceed with caution? Sure. Don’t get taken,  but do proceed and make progress.

What are the book marketing basics? Write a good book. Get it edited. Get a great cover design. Price it right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know all that.

What then? Then go buy my buddy Jeff Bennington’s new book, The Indie Author’s Guide to the Universe. I’m reading it right now and I especially like the things you can do to sell your books that are free. Let him show you the way forward. The best marketing strategies are not static. They come and go and rise and fall so we have to stay current and open to experimentation with new opportunities as they arise.

That’s what I’m trying to do, anyway, and that’s what this blog is about.

~ Robert Chazz Chute is the author of a bunch of great ebooks of suspense with titles he now realizes generally repel you. He podcasts a comedy/narrative show, Self-help for Stoners, every Thursday night. To learn more, go to AllThatChazz.com.

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PayPal cracks down on erotica e-book sales | TeleRead: News and views on e-books, libraries, publishing and related topics

Via Scoop.itWriting and reading fiction

So from the last post, we know that erotica is very popular on e-readers. But slow down, there, aspiring erotica fiction writer. PayPal just made Smashwords clamp down on your id with ice tongs and put your readers’ vice in a vice.

I’m probably not going to miss books I wanted to read, but the ultimatum from PayPal is a bit ironic considering that I often write about clever serial killers and nobody will bother me about it. Also, isn’t there research that shows that transgressive fiction may provide an outlet for kinks the world says it hates so said nastiness is not acted out in reality? Also, does it bother anyone that all this stuff Paypal is censoring is, in fact, legal? A group of European scientists are going to publish a scientific paper on how to weaponize an extremely virulent bird flu and nobody’s stopping them?! Wow.
I also worry that Mark Coker states up front in his warning letter to authors that “mistakes will be made.” (Points for honesty.) But will those mistakes include my book Sex, Death & Mind Control (for fun and profit) because of the title? I’d say obviously not, except someone already assumed it was porn because of the title. (It’s creepy suspense and brilliant literature in which you discover more about yourself, I assure you.) If my book gets swept up in the censors’ purge, how long will it be off the electric shelves?

Ultimately, if they’re going to censor, I wish they’d done this on a complaint-based, case by case basis so fewer mistakes will be made and authors won’t lose income.  It’s a sticky situation and I’m sympathetic to Mark’s position. To save the whole, he had to amputate a limb. If that imagery titillates you at all, I’ll have to delete this post. Click the Scoopit! link to learn more and to figure out your feelings on this. ~ Chazz
Via www.teleread.com

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Ebook sales are being driven by downmarket genre fiction

Via Scoop.itWriting and reading fiction

Somebody’s going to find this piece insulting even if it’s right. Especially if it’s right. My favorite quote from this piece from the Guardian is, “The reading public in private is lazy and smutty.”   This article does raise the question, “Am I busting my brains too hard writing a literary apocalyptic novel from the point of view of an autistic child with a fondness for Latin phrases?” Or should I relax my literary aspirations and ape The Road Warrior instead?   Doesn’t matter this time. I’m already in love with my book and it’s almost done. But how much should we consider the market before we start out? I mean, baby’s gotta eat, too. Click the Scoopit! link below to check out the Guardian piece and let the outrage mixed withplacid agreement commence.~ Chazz
Via www.guardian.co.uk

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