C h a z z W r i t e s . c o m

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08/20/2010 • 8:08 AM 1

Dare to Suck.

She’s got it right. Lots of writers expect to be fantastic as soon as they start. That’s unrealistic. You are not a genius, but with practice, you could be. Also, don’t think about the money you will or won’t get. For now, just write for its own sake. The rest? That’s for later.

Filed under: web reviews, Writers, writing tips, dare to suck at writing, writing advice, writing tips

08/18/2010 • 8:52 AM 0

Chuck Palahniuk on Writer’s Constipation

Filed under: Writers, writing tips, chuck palahniuk, writer's block, writing advice

07/31/2010 • 3:07 PM 1

Smash Writer’s Block: Write Hardboiled Fiction

You aren’t going to feel like writing all the time. Set an egg timer and tell yourself you’ll just write for ten minutes. That’s one very hardboiled egg. You can manage ten minutes. Write as fast as you can and don’t pause to think. Don’t pause to look back and edit. Just go!

How this helps:

1. It gets you writing. You don’t need big blocks of time. Lots of writers knock out entire books in short segments. Little bits of stolen time are how stay-at-home moms and dads live. Do it consistently and you’ll build your book.

2. This technique forces you to move forward and not dither over split infinitives. Revise later. Write right now.

3. Once you get started, you will often find you’ll want to keep going. You may not have started off in the zone, but by promising yourself just ten minutes, you will often end up there and decide you want to stay, persevere and write more.

BONUS:

Some will say, “I don’t have even ten minutes.”

(I have heard this.)

Answer:

Sorry to say, these people are whiners. You don’t have ten minutes? Really?

Reality check:

You aren’t that crucial. You aren’t that important. You’re experiencing resistance. Go work on yourself and find out why you’re manufacturing drama. And ask yourself, do you really want to be a writer?

You don’t always have to be “in the mood” to write. You do have to take responsibility for not writing.

Filed under: getting it done, writing tips, writer's block, writing advice

07/15/2010 • 9:12 AM 0

Conflicting Writing Advice

I’m reading Thanks But This Isn’t for Us, a development editor’s (AKA The Angel of Death*) take on why your manuscript sucks. Her suggestions on openings to avoid are very useful.

When I was evaluating the slush pile, there were an inordinate number of manuscripts–all rejected–that began with somebody getting up in the morning, describing themselves in the mirror and making coffee. Second most common thing? Boarding an airplane for The Big Trip. It could work but I never saw it play well in those submissions.

Wrinkle: Now the fiction market is so tight, publishers aren’t just rejecting bad manuscripts. Now they’re turning down a lot of good stuff. There’s only so much money to publish so many books in any one budget year.

Back to Thanks…she advocates “beautiful language.” I wonder if she’s focussing on so-called literary fiction there. I just read two translations from European authors that were definitely literary, but the language was very plain and cut down, even minimalist. I don’t think there were more than two adjectives in either book. Meanwhile, I’ve read about two MFA programs, one eschewing “beautiful language” and the other praising only fiction that employs poetic language. (Maya Angelou thinks it’s not good writing unless it’s hard to read. I disagree.)

This is why you must write for yourself and find someone who appreciates it after the deed is done.

*Angel of Death…you know…maybe we need to ease back on the throttle on hyperbolic language around writing. Sure, you want it to be good, but it’s also just writing. Too often people talk about it like it’s a secret language that only a few geniuses can learn. Successful authors are very very persistent and very very lucky. Nobody talks about the luck involved in getting through the razor wire and fine mesh of some underpaid, otherwise unemployable editorial assistant’s capricious sensibilities. I think I can say that because I was that otherwise unemployable douche who turned your masterpiece down.

Filed under: book reviews, writing tips, book reviews, writing advice

06/13/2010 • 2:17 PM 0

It’s about the work

I’ve been a bit of a crank on here for several posts (and my whole life) so I should mention that it’s not always like that. This evening I got an e-mail. I had sent in a spec feature to a health mag and the editor bought it. The contract is on the way.

When they tell you they are sending cash, it does tend to feel good. The thrill of seeing your stuff in print wains a bit (though I remember being quite high when I had articles in two mags that sat side by side on a news stand at one time.)

But the fun has to be in the writing itself. If it’s not fun, there are plenty of other things to do that pay more and probably hurt less, since you’re only as good as your next piece.

Filed under: writing tips, writing, writing advice

05/19/2010 • 7:03 PM 0

Martin Amis on Charlie Rose

Filed under: publishing, rules of writing, Writers, martin amis, writing advice

05/10/2010 • 8:41 PM 1

Conflicting Writing Advice

Writing Guru #1:

Start with a hook. Come into the action late, leave the action early and finish each chapter with a breathtaking cliffhanger to propel the reader into the next chapter! All scripts need more and more tension!

Writing Guru #2:

Hooks are hokey. Take your time to build tension. Cliffhangers get tiring. I don’t want to see a cliffhanger at the end of each chapter. I want a feeling of satisfaction.

I’d feel some satisfaction if Writing Guru #1 and #2 duked it out in a naked Jello-and-broken-glass cage match. Who will win? Ooh, cliffhanger!

BONUS:

What do agents and editors want? They want to “be delighted!” What does that mean to you in any practical sense? Shit, man. It means shit. Write to delight yourself and hope that you find someone who agrees with your take. It’s your only hope.