C h a z z W r i t e s . c o m

See all my books at AllThatChazz.com.

Publishing: Seeing things as they are

A few friends of mine are pinning their hopes on literary agents and traditional publishing contracts. Independent publishing is not for everyone so I don’t try hard to dissuade them. Traditional publishing is not for me, but people have their reasons. No need to rehash the why. Let’s delve deeper into building a better how.

If you go hunting for a contract with an agent or publisher, know the game and the real odds.

  1. Many people call themselves agents. They are not all equal. Research them so you don’t waste time sending book proposals to people who do not have the connections and talents you require.
  2. If you find the right person, make sure your work fits their submission guidelines.
  3. Check out the agent’s social media presence. How do they talk about writers they reject? Is snark their brand? If they are obnoxious to those they turn away, they’ll eventually be obnoxious to you. Is that someone with whom you want to be tied in a business relationship? Professionalism should be expected on both sides of the desk.
  4. Contrary to popular belief, you can still approach many publishers directly. Many editors would rather you didn’t do that. However, behind closed doors, some will admit they often check everything that is sent their way. To make that work, you’ll have to do deeper research on the editor and their work history. Your best bet is to be recommended by an author with whom they already work. Sidle up to targets rather than attempt a clumsy full frontal attack.
  5. Expect delays. No matter who you send your work to, you’ll be waiting a long time for a response. Since you’ll be doing most of the ongoing selling and publicity of your work, are you still sure you want that publishing contract? You might make much more money going on your own. In fact, according to Author Earnings reports and the number 70%, the way to bet is on yourself.
  6. Agents are not as important to authors as they used to be. They didn’t used to have to justify their fees. At conferences, they used to be chased into the bathroom (between official pitching sessions.) Though conferences are the most efficient way to meet a bunch of agents fast, the fees and costs probably aren’t worth it if the meet, greet, pitch and press is the only reason you’re attending a writing conference. Agents don’t represent all genres equally so, instead, research before you take your shot. Stay home. Sit back and choose your targets carefully from afar. (Writing conferences are fun places to hang out with other writers. Go for the drinking and new friends.)
  7. A rejection from an agent that details manuscript problems may be useful. Often, rejections do not detail the why of your sorrow. You might have received the same or better feedback from a freelance editor, beta reader or reviewer. There is no practical benefit in building a pile of reject letters as the years pass in the name of “skin thickening.” Your skin is probably about as thick or thin as it will ever be. Rejection isn’t training you to be a better writer (though, sadly, you may be convinced erroneously to give up.) Don’t fall for the “pay your dues” thing. “Pay your dues,” usually means, “No.” It often doesn’t mean more than that. Sometimes psychopaths use those three words to get work out of young people for free. Avoid.
  8. Whether you’ve submitted to an agency or publisher, the person who pushes your proposal forward or rejects it is often an intern or other inexperienced person. Youth and inexperience doesn’t make their evaluation wrong necessarily. I worked the slush pile when I was young and inexperienced, too. In the year I worked at Harlequin, I found one manuscript for the publisher and one manuscript that was good but paid no attention to the publisher’s guidelines and druthers. Pay attention to druthers. Despite the enormous size of the slush pile, it is often remarkably easy to reject unsolicited submissions because so many writers didn’t pay attention to the expectations of the genre, the publisher or the English language.
  9. Accepted or rejected, try not to take feedback too seriously. Even if they like your book, there’s an excellent chance the deal won’t come together or will go sour. Believe the dream is coming together when you see your book on bookstore shelves and you get paid. (Get paid!)
  10. The closest analogy to getting a trad pub deal is the lottery. Even smaller publishers receive a staggering number of manuscripts and they’ll only pluck one or two new writers each year, if that. Agents can’t handle an infinite number of writers. You may be waiting for their established writers to die in order to get picked up. People do win the lottery, but if we were better at math we probably wouldn’t spend so much money on those tickets. We’d invest in ourselves instead. 

If you’re going to play this game, know the odds and never stake your entire writing career on only one book. Agents and publishers prefer authors who have dozens of profitable books in them for years to come, not one precious gem.

I’m not trying to be cynical. There are good agents out there, but please do see the business as it is, not how you wish it. It is art and commerce. When both elements come together it can be a beautiful collaboration. Beautiful collaborations are rare in publishing.

BONUS 1: If I wanted a trad deal, I’d probably look to my old connections in the book industry first. When that failed, I’d delete one set of gatekeepers and send proposals to editors and publishers directly. Or I’d find a rabbi in the business, like an older author who could give guidance or guide their editor my way. If accepted, I’d contact an entertainment lawyer (AKA intellectual property lawyer.) You pay your agent forever. You pay a lawyer once.

BONUS 2: Authors sometimes speak about “choosing” to go with an agent. That’s the ideal dynamic. It should be a business arrangement where you are partnering with someone in the know. However, it’s so difficult to get an agent, that’s not how it usually works. Typically, a writer gets an email out of the ether saying, “I’d like to represent you.” The writer says yes without reading the contract.

Read the contract. Please read the damn contract.

Don’t go hat in hand and, for the love of Thor, have some goddamn dignity.

Don’t be too eager to celebrate too soon.

These waters are shark infested. Stop swimming in a bathing suit made of bloody meat.

~ Robert Chazz Chute writes stuff. Suspenseful stuff. Crime and horror and sci-fi, oh my! He finds the occasional use of sentence fragments winsome. Chazz also enjoys talking about himself in the third person while chewing on writerly thoughts. He sleeps naked and thinks out loud nakedly. Check out his non-naked author site at AllThatChazz.com.

My latest book, Wallflower is a time travel novel about a suicidal comedian saving the world (with Kurt Vonnegut’s help.) Yes. You read that right. Now go check it out here. Expect jokes and snappy dialogue. The secrets of the universe shall be unveiled. Hint: the universe is pretty fucked up.

 

Wallflower (Medium)

Filed under: publishing

This Is The Modern Publishing Business

Beware.

Filed under: publishing

WORST SEX SCENE IN A MODERN NOVEL – A Special, Rotting Post Competition

Oh, for the love of Thor, NO!

rottingpost's avatarThe Trumplandia Review

Just how horrible can a sex scene in a contemporary novel get?

This is the critical question we at The Rotting Post intend to answer.   We will offer two of the worst descriptions of sex ever recorded in a serious novel as our finalists.  And you the reader can choose for the winner!

worst sex 2

Needless to say, there are many ways to write a bad sex scene.  Before we get to our more current examples, let’s see how David Guterson did it way back in 1994, in his hugely successful, “Snow Falling On Cedars”:

He held her tightly in the curves of her waist, and after a while lower, at her hips…

Then his hands left her hips and traced the line of her waist and traveled along up under her dress to  the clasp of her bra…He undid the clasp without struggling and pulled the shoulder straps down…

His hands…

View original post 1,031 more words

Filed under: publishing

How Janet Evanovich Writes

Wendy E. N. Thomas's avatarLive to Write - Write to Live

I recently picked up a copy of Janet Evanovich’s (with Ina Yalof) How I Write – Secrets of a Bestselling Author (2006.) The book is written in question/answer format which makes it a little tough to read (no real continuity) BUT if you can stick with it, it’s filled with tons of good information from a very accomplished (and fellow Granite Stater) writer.

janetI have yet to go to see an author without someone asking if the writer is a “pantser or plotter” A pantser writes by the seat of their pants and a plotter outlines and plans what they will write (for the record I am a 100% plotter.)

It’s the question everyone wants to know – how do you do that voodoo that you do so well? Read how Janet answers this question in her book:

  1. Q. How do writers set up their books? Do you outline…

View original post 319 more words

Filed under: publishing

Chewbacca Mom Is Everything That’s Wrong with the Internet

ME's avatarLorca Damon

I know, I know, I’m a little late to the “let’s all hate this woman and her infectious laugh” party, but it’s taken me this long to really care about the issue. And now I do. Thanks to the asshole who made it all about me.

Back up: this lady posts a Facebook Live thing for her own friends and family to enjoy. Her little slice of discounted retail item heaven is so uplifting and happy place-inducing that it goes viral. First, she gets a visit from a major retailer who thanks her for all the free exposure of their store with a few more Star Wars-themed goodies. Yay. Then she gets a few TV appearances…more yay. Then somehow, that translates into scholarships for her children…what the what?

Of course, it took about twelve parsecs (that’s a Star Wars references for those of you who simply aren’t cool enough to…

View original post 388 more words

Filed under: publishing

The Joy of the Staying the Hell Home

Most writers I know are trying to get out of their day jobs so they can write and do nothing but write. I’m in a bit of a different situation. I have four jobs. My wife, AKA She Who Must Be Obeyed, has three. We have plans to change that crazy trajectory but, for now, this is how we live.

Getting pulled in so many directions can be stressful, but it must also be said that we’re generally pretty enthusiastic about all we do. Nonetheless, precautions must be taken so exhaustion and burnout do not burst our overtaxed hearts. Not working ourselves to death is generally a good thing. That’s why I’m on vacation this week.

It’s not the sort of vacation where I lounge on a sun drenched beach. Who needs skin cancer? I’m not touring castles. I mean, castles are cool, but all that walking and bad food? Pfft! It’s not the sort of vacation where I fly anywhere. Especially since 9/11, air travel is a nightmare. I’m not enthused about the ordeal of going through security, allowing people to be rude to me and getting packed into a tube with irritable strangers for a death-defying trip on Air Schnitzel. I am staying the hell home.

This is a writing vacation and I couldn’t be happier. On the first day, I piled up 6,802 words. That might be a personal best. I can focus on creation and do nothing else. I don’t worry that I left the house unlocked or the stove on. I don’t have any other tasks looming overhead. What luxury!

When the economy went south, someone invented the term, “staycation,” to make a virtue out of poverty. We all need vacations though we don’t all get them. I am grateful for this opportunity. Don’t hate me because I’m relaxed. I’ve worked hard for this.

I know the story I want to write and it’s going great. It’s going so great, in fact, that I am about halfway through a new novel. I’ve committed to completing the first draft this week. The bulk of the rest of this year will be devoted to editing and publishing the many book projects I’ve managed to pile up in the last six months. You may call me lots of nasty names, but you can’t call me lazy.

I am always reluctant to take any time off but She Who Must Be Obeyed insists and she’s always right. Without fail, I return to work fresh and full of new energy and new ideas. 

My vacation’s writing schedule is full. I know it’s not a vacation in the truest sense. I really mean that I’m down to doing one job: writing stories to melt hearts, tickle brains and make you say: ah-ha, ha-ha-ha, oh my gawd and wowzers (repeatedly, in no particular order.) Since I’m used to juggling four commitments, one job seems remarkably easy, especially when that one job is writing. I love writing. I’ll even get more reading done this week, too.

I’m having a great time. If you want to talk, email or dance the samba, I’ll be available next week. If you haven’t had a pure writing vacation this year, I urge you to plan one if you can. When I make the big move back to having one job and one job only, every day will be like this: coffee, couch and laptop. Writing is the one job from which one can never really retire. Happily so.

Love and kisses to all (substituting man-hugs where appropriate.)

~ I’m Robert Chazz Chute. Catch all my sexy hexy texty epic weirdness at AllThatChazz.com.

 

Filed under: All That Chazz, self-publishing, writing, writing advice, , , , ,

Goodbye SparkyLee/ Coming Clean

Let us welcome Sam out of the pen name closet. I’m thinking of going deeper into that pseudonym closet with some new work. What are your thoughts on pen names?

Filed under: publishing

The Haunting Lessons Review

ke11yurban's avatarThe Dyslexic Reader

The Haunting Lessons

By: Robert Chazz Chute & Holly Pop
Category: Fantasy, High-Fantasy, Paranormal

Rating: ★★★★★

Difficulty: ★★★★☆ (I have a hard time with acronyms)

When tragedy strikes, a young woman from Iowa discovers ghosts walk among us. Now our fate depends on her (and maybe you, too.) Warning: Some scenes may be disturbing to sensitive readers.

These are the first 81 Lessons every budding shade seer and sword slinger needs to know to survive a magical Armageddon.

Swords. Holy firepower. Devilish jokes. The Underworld and the Overworld are coming together in the Secret City of the Unseen: New York City!

Review

Ho. Ly. Crap!

This is an amazing novel! There has to be more books in the making, there just has to be. **Shaking the authors between my fists**

I was a little skeptical at first when I realized the book was not necessarily a linear novel, but had…

View original post 179 more words

Filed under: publishing

How to keep moving forward.

My wife, She Who Must Be Obeyed, deals with a lot of sad, difficult and traumatic situations in her noble work. She helps a lot of people but it’s not easy. To combat the downside, she keeps what she calls a perk file. That’s where she holds on to commendations and thank you letters from those she has helped. Writers should have a similar file.

As an author, you will have disappointments. It’s inevitable. As I wrote in a post below (The Writer’s Curse) we are imaginative and therefore perpetually dissatisfied. Copy and paste your fave reviews to a special file for those dark days to come. When the disappointments arise, reread those five star reviews and fan letters. Cherish them and keep going.

I’ve often thought about quitting, especially when I’m overwhelmed. (Quitting isn’t always a bad idea, either. More on that in a coming post.) I did stop writing completely for almost five years. Those were not good years. For me, the dissatisfaction of not writing is worse than the bad writing days.

This week, a reader reminded me why it’s important to keep going. Stories are powerful. I replied, thanking her for being a reader, of course, but her letter is too important an inspiration not to share with fellow writers. She wrote:

Dear Robert Chazz Chute,

I read zompoc because I need to read something that takes me away from my reality – a genetic condition that slowly transformed the woman who could turn somersaults in mid-air to the woman in a wheelchair.
Fortunately,my sense of humour is intact.
Friends, family and NHS have stuck with me, so I’m lucky compared to most disabled people.
And the connection with This Plague of Days?
It distracted me from my pain – always present unless I’m asleep.
Yep. Stories are that powerful.
Even when they’re stories about unrelenting terror.
This Plague of Days is an epic piece of writing.
But you know that already.
I just felt like telling you that I know that too.
And thank you for writing something that set me free, for a while.

~ I am Robert Chazz Chute and I am often sad. I get misty reading this letter, but in a good way. I am less sad this week thanks to this reader. You can check out all my stuff at AllThatChazz.com, or just read and reread this letter to get inspired to write something epic that distracts readers from their pain. Distracting us from pain is, I think, what it’s all about.

Now I’m off to write more. Thanks again, to all the readers.

Filed under: All That Chazz, publishing, Writers, writing, writing advice, writing tips, , , , ,

What’s your big little idea?

It’s amazing how something old, small and simple can catch on. Ideas turned into action can be very profitable. Sometimes it’s the small ideas that are overlooked that pack the biggest punch.

Tom Papa is a comedian who has appeared on The Joe Rogan Experience podcast several times. He mentioned that he makes his own bread using 100 year old yeast. That’s a yeast people keep alive, much like a pet, except you turn it into bread and eat it. (Think about that bit of weirdness a moment before you spread peanut butter over some toast.) The idea caught on and Papa got a lot of people interested in making their own bread. A chore became a phenomenon which turned into a thing. Then it went viral.

Or consider Dwayne Johnson AKA The Rock. He’s a huge and charming superstar. The Rock gets up really early every day to work out. That one lifestyle choice has become part of his brand. He’s inspired millions to do the same and now has an alarm clock app to get fans and followers to start their day early and right. Check it on his Twitter feed here.

You don’t have to start with an audience of millions to do something that catches on, either. Jeff Sanders has been very successful in a similar vein with The 5 a.m. Miracle. Motto: “Dominate your day before breakfast.” Mr. Sanders helps entrepreneurs use their time more productively with the simple idea that you can get more stuff done before everyone gets out of bed to interrupt you. (I’m boiling it down a bit much, but you get the idea.)

Tim Ferriss made a big deal out of making your bed in the morning. His thing is finding ways to hack life and do everything faster, easier and with the minimum effective dose of effort. If you don’t already own the 4-Hour Work Week, c’mon! Where you been?

Believe it or not, a World Planking Championship is a thing and yes, you can buy t-shirts and hoodies telling everyone you torture yourself using gravity.

Examples of harnessing the power of simple are everywhere. Remember when the word staycation became a thing? We couldn’t afford to go anywhere, so put up a hammock in your backyard instead of flying to the Bahamas. Bam! A thing!

What’s next? A popular return to canning vegetables? Speed reading competitions? Sidewalk climbing for fun, fitness and profit?

See my previous post (below) on the big idea behind writing short stories.

Writers can often come up with a high concept for a book by smashing together pretty simple ideas. Vampires that sparkle and vampires that definitely do not, under any circumstances, sparkle? Books emerged from each premise. What about cozy mysteries where the protagonist is a chef, works at the yarn barn or sells tea? These are tropes and niches that have turned into profitable books. 

It annoys me when I hear agents reject a book premise because it is “too clever.” It sounds anti-intellectual and personally, I love clever. However, boiling your plots and plans down to simple ideas that work for wide audiences is a strong bet. For an in-depth discussion of tropes that work (and what can blow up in your face like wet dynamite), catch the frank, fun and breezy discussion between Simon Whistler and JA Cipriano on Episode 149 of the Rocking Self-publishing Podcast.

Have a think on it. And tell us, what’s your next million dollar big little idea?

~ I’m Robert Chazz Chute and I’ve got ideas big and small. Check out the really good ones in book form at AllThatChazz.com.

Filed under: publishing

Bestseller with over 1,000 reviews!
Winner of the North Street Book Prize, Reader's Favorite, the
Literary Titan Award, the Hollywood Book Festival, and the
New York Book Festival.

http://mybook.to/OurZombieHours
A NEW ZOMBIE ANTHOLOGY

Winner of Writer's Digest's 2014 Honorable Mention in Self-published Ebook Awards in Genre

The first 81 lessons to get your Buffy on

More lessons to help you survive Armageddon

"You will laugh your ass off!" ~ Maxwell Cynn, author of Cybergrrl

Available now!

Fast-paced terror, new threats, more twists.

An autistic boy versus our world in free fall

Suspense to melt your face and play with your brain.

Action like a Guy Ritchie film. Funny like Woody Allen when he was funny.

Jesus: Sexier and even more addicted to love.

You can pick this ebook up for free today at this link: http://bit.ly/TheNightMan

Join my inner circle at AllThatChazz.com

See my books, blogs, links and podcasts.

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 2,063 other subscribers