C h a z z W r i t e s . c o m

See all my books at AllThatChazz.com.

06/15/2010 • 12:34 PM 0

I resolve to be a better supervillain, uh, no, I mean, writer.

Amidst a flurry of productivity pumping out short stories lately I was reminded of a book I read a long time ago. Had I heeded its message when I read it I would have several books behind me by now.

The book is The War of Art, Winning the Inner Creative Battle by Steven Pressfield. (Highly recommended!) One key is, treat it like it’s a job. You don’t wait for time to surface, you dive deep to get it. You don’t wait for inspiration to strike, you assume inspiration will appear once you start typing (sadly this never happened for the writers of Sex & the City, the story of three hookers and their transvestite dad, Kim Cattrail.)

Don’t be a dilettante. Establish a writing schedule and stick to it.

I’ve called this meeting because we must come up with a plan to kill Superman!

Whoops! Sorry, wrong speech.

Filed under: book reviews, publishing, Rant, rules of writing, writing tips, writers, writing schedule, writing tip

06/11/2010 • 6:50 PM 1

Where does the Darkness Come From?

Short Answer:

The darkness comes from everywhere.

Longer Answer:

Tales of horror arrive in the newspaper every day. This week a toddler was stuck in a high chair for six days while her dead mother lay on the floor in front of her. The child managed to survive because she could reach food from where she sat. The mother had suffered a chronic illness. When a child services worker rang the bell, no one answered but she could hear the child crying, she called police. They broke down the door to find a body beginning to decay and a terrified child.

When asked by an interviewer, “Where does the darkness come from?” these were my answers. Of course, we all have terrible childhoods and can draw on the thousand arrows flesh is heir to, but when done right, fiction can be the valve that lets off pressure. Fiction can make sense in a world that is plotless (though all stories that end with “happily ever after” are conveniently ended before the going gets nasty.)

I said to my wife (it’s funny but I’m dead serious, too): This is our happily ever after now. But make no mistake, this will all end horribly…unless a carbon monoxide leak kills us all in our sleep, of course.

Fiction is the lie that tells the truth. Humour can do that, too. There’s an element in the question that’s subtle and insulting, also. I wrote a short story that would convince you I’ve drowned at least one person in a bathtub. When people reacted to me with alarm, I smiled and pointed out, “It is fiction.” Perhaps they’re disturbed that I give these matters so much thought.

~Mr. Sunshine strikes again

Filed under: Rant, short stories, writing tips, horror, where the ideas come from, writing

06/09/2010 • 5:28 PM 0

The Censor’s Dilemma

Censorship of books in Cuba is an interesting phenomenon. When a book is banned, it’s pushed into the black market and the underground economy scoops it up for the populace. Thankfully.

Whenever a book or a film is decried by would-be censors, or actual censors, the object of their derision is made all the more desireable in the minds of many. I have no doubt JK Rowling would have been a success in any case. However, when numerous religious groups tried to have it banned, they unwittingly contributed to the Harry Potter phenomenon.

If your book is made into a movie, your sales will soar. If you can get somebody to declaim it as an offense to decency or whatever their pet cause happens to be, then you’ll get more media promotion than you could possibly pay for.

When I was a kid a local Baptist church held a rally, proud they were going to burn evil Metal records. They identified the music as a threat to the children. The trouble was, mostly the kids didn’t have any of the offensive records (or had them stashed at a friend’s house.) Their solution was to go out and buy a bunch of AC/DC so they could contribute to the liberating bonfire. Bloody brilliant. (A recent study revealed teens who listen to heavy metal are actually more serene and intelligent as a group.)

To the censors: if you don’t want anybody to read or listen to something you don’t like, ssssshhhhhhh. Don’t read it. Don’t talk about it and don’t tell me what to do with my brain. The moment you start railing against it, I’m putting on my coat to head to Chapters. Look at any list of banned books and you’ll find a lot of great literature there.

Rock on.

Filed under: banning books, Rant, banning books, censors

06/08/2010 • 3:39 PM 0

Death to Newspapers*

Over 20 years ago I worked for the Chronicle Herald and Mail Star in Nova Scotia. I was still in journalism school and they hired me on so I could merrily report on drug busts, fires, car accidents and take lots of pictures ($7.50 for each pic then–if you can believe it–so I took a lot of them!) It was great training on an independent newspaper, known among staff as The Chonically Horrid.

Had I not moved to Toronto to get into book publishing, I might still be there…and I’d have a 25% chance of being out of a job this cold morning in my middle age (assuming I don’t drop dead any second now…that would make this my old age. I digress.) I had a bunch of friends from the old days who worked there. I wonder how many of them are suddenly freelance writers like me after all. And where are they on paying off their mortgages? Poor bastards.

The paper cut staff drastically. But it’s not just a black and white, yes or no, will newspapers survive question. Funding for investigative reporting has dropped precipitously across all newspapers. You have to budget for reporters to travel and work on the investigative piece and then you have to budget for the litigation that may ensue. The ad dollars that fund all that aren’t there anymore, in many cases dropping to 10 cents on the dollar.

The Halifax newspaper’s rallying cry this morning on CBC Radio was that they were still the biggest newsroom in the province. Sure, but the newspaper’s shrinking and the subscriber price isn’t going down. Instead of sticking with outdated business models, they reacted too late to the development of the Internet. More people are switching to getting their news for free over the net and ad dollars follow eyeballs to advertise on web pages.

The editor-spokesunit said they’d still be “blowing the lid off stories.” They didn’t do that before so that’s a new policy. I well remember how envious we were of Canada’s national newspaper at the time when they devoted a couple of reporters to an investigative piece over the course of weeks. Weeks?! We were expected to write several stories a day to fill the news hole (that unimportant little space between the ads.)

I’m going to miss newspapers. I’m sure they’ll still be around for some time yet, but they’ll be smaller and pack less punch. I do love a big heavy newspaper and a coffee on a lazy Sunday morning in my big comfy pleather chair. Sigh. Extinction begins with a long period of denial followed by a brief bit of screaming and kicking and then, nothing.

However, other things shall evolve in the place of newspapers. E-readers are the tiny beginning, a trickle in the coming tide. Big changes in the book publishing industry are coming, too.* Strap yourself in and wear a helmet.

*I wrote this piece some time ago but I think it holds up. The dying–and what rises from those cremated, inky ashes–is still in process.

Filed under: Rant, death of newspapers, superman cartoon, what's next?

06/03/2010 • 3:03 PM 0

This just in: Literary Journal rejects writer AFTER 6 YEARS!

Dude sends “Pretentious Literary Journal” a submission. Six years later he receives their reply. Read and enjoy at Jason Sanford’s blog. Hero of the Afternoon Award to Mr. Sanford for his cutting autopsy of said journal. I only wish he had named names.

*Found through the great Writer Rejected at Literary Rejections on Display.

Filed under: publishing, Rant, Unintentionally hilarious, literary journals, rejection

06/01/2010 • 11:22 PM 2

The Publishing Revolution will be televised, podcasted, tweeted and POD

Publishers want their authors to have these platforms, and with them an established following before they launch a book. They don’t have the skills, resources or inclination to go viral, but they do expect authors to shoulder that job. A good manuscript isn’t going to be enough for publishers, especially as the tech wave gathers strength. Publishers will be changing their expectations because non-English publishers are leading the charge to a revolutionized industry. They want you to have a website, a platform and a ready-made fan base (for the same reasons Hollywood keeps redoing old but familiar formulae, making movies out of old TV shows with varied success.)

This is not news, but it largely applied to non-fiction writers. Now many publishers are expecting the same electronically interactive wizardry from fiction writers as well. You still have to be a good writer, but your teeth should be straight and you should be comfortable in front of a live studio audience. It’s preferable that you be a gorgeous celebrity, so get to work on that if you haven’t already been interviewed by Regis Philbin.

The best case scenario for non-fiction writers is an area of expertise, a writing track record, a platform (preferably with a lot of speaking engagements to large groups.) The killer outline in their book proposal is a must, but so is a business plan and a business case.

For fiction writers, publishers are going to be looking for many of these elements soon if they aren’t already. In other words, it’s more important than ever that you be ready to do the work of getting the book known. Advances used to be there so the author could eat while he finishes the book. More publishers will expect you to eat bark off trees and use that advance to hire a publicist and do your own tour of the Midwest, thanks very much, possibly in the actual Partridge Family bus.

The economic crunch will mean fewer books. It may also mean better books, but smaller promotional budgets. No matter. Those budgets were barely there unless it was for a book that didn’t need it anyway. (Read: King or Koontz.) As a result, more authors will flee to what smaller publishers who are left, or go DIY.

And what’s next beyond that? A writer friend of mine is writing literary travelogues on his Blackberry. The length of each epistle is determined by the limit of the text message file so it makes for nice uniform chapters. It turns out he’s ahead of his time. Cell phone novels are huge in Japan. They’re typically written on trains ( it’s a commuting culture) by urban young woman from age 15 to 24. Then they are uploaded to websites and followings grow. These romances (featuring lots of sex and violence in fairly simple language) have been picked up by eager publishers who get the cell novels to bookshelves, often at lengths of 300-400 pages. Many of the authors didn’t even consider themselves writers when they started out. Now they’re in bookstores all over Japan. Nobody’s doing something that innovative among the big publishers yet. Look for the phenomenon to catch on in a year or two, and expect it to be reviled by critics who’ll long for the dusty and respectable old days. Meanwhile the kids will eat ’em up.

Self-publishing houses getting more sophisticated. If they are smart–and they’re smaller so they’ll change quicker than the big guns–they’ll work harder to assist authors in promoting themselves. DIY is going huge. Much of publishing promotion has always been DIY since marketing budgets have always been miniscule. The person most interested in selling the author’s books is always the author, anyway. That may mean Do It Yourself marketing, or maybe it means you’ll go whole hog and form your own publishing company with the shipping department organized in your mom’s garage. Or maybe you’ll have no inventory and go Print on Demand in full.

More good news: the short story is coming back. Your audience has a shorter attention span and lots of distractions. They want to read something quick over lunch or on their commute. They’ll take short fiction with them on their MP3 and IPOD. You can serialize your fiction on your nifty new website to keep them coming back for more.

Big changes are coming and if you’re tech-savvy, you might have a good shot over the rest of the herd. If you aren’t tech-savvy, you’ll have to pay to get someone else to do it. Maybe you can teach yourself a bunch of website skills on YouTube.

Another fresh resource: a book on establishing your platform before you send your manuscript is out by the woman behind Writer Mama. It’s called Get Known before the Book Deal by Christian Katz. I recommend you have a look. No sense letting everyone have another advantage over you.

How will you survive the coming Publishing Apocalypse? It’s up to you. Literally.

Filed under: Publicity & Promotion, publishing, Rant, Writers, DIY, future of publishng, self-promotion

05/27/2010 • 11:55 AM 0

Writers: The Manifesto of Enough

The world is full of injustices and actions that make me rant and rave and curse. But things aren’t so bad today because I am focused on the things I can control. Others do not have the freedom to write. I do, so I should exercise that right to express myself and enjoy it, as others would if they had the opportunity. Others suffer, which I lament and protest, but they suffer no less when I fail to write.

I have found the joy in writing and so finally I am writing copiously without straining and etching it out slowly with all the recrimination and self-loathing procrastination injects into the brain and marrow.

I was deceived and I deceived myself.

I thought it should come hard to be valuable, but writing is finally play. I must be incredibly stupid because I’ve written for so long, for a living, for myself, for others…and now I’ve finally got it. How did I fail to notice?

New thought (to me):

To be valuable, on some level, writing has to be fun,

in execution and in reception.

I have experienced thrills and joys, but all with a wary and unwavering eye to how little time was left to enjoy them, how fleeting my smiles, how soon forgotten the awards, how soon spent the rewards.

Today I’m not doing that.

I write. I edit.

I have never been happier.

Filed under: Rant, Writers, writing tips, happy to write, writers

05/26/2010 • 2:21 PM 0

From YouTube through Literary Rejections on Display

Filed under: Rant, Rejection, queries, rejection

05/24/2010 • 7:31 PM 0

Piracy and Copyright Worries

Here’s an interesting take on data piracy from thriller writer Joe Konrath at A Newbie’s Guide to Publishing. If you’re worried about somebody running off with your book and sharing it with their pirate friends, his piece might set your mind at ease.

Filed under: publishing, Rant, Writers, piracy, publishing

05/23/2010 • 2:57 PM 0

Poor Writing Critique

Here’s an unhelpful answer when you ask for feedback: “That’s derivative.” Derivative is “it’s been done” dressed up in fancy clothes. That’s not useful information because everything has been done.

There are books that try to reduce everything to thirty plots or only ten. I can edit that down to two: Boy gets girl (with multiple variations) and good versus evil. It’s up to the writer to make it different enough within the familiar.

When someone says what you’ve written is derivative, what they really mean–and they might not know this–is that it’s boring. Maybe you’d prefer the encrypted signal after all, huh?

Recently some wag complained that Scrubs is derivative of Parker Lewis Can’t Lose. If you don’t remember Parker Lewis you aren’t alone, but yes, it was a funny show that featured lots of quick fantasy sequences and non sequiturs. It’s ironic that the critic was saying Scrubs was derivative when it’s so clear that Parker was heavily influenced by Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

(Family Guy uses the same devices but nobody’s calling Family Guy derivative except some really bitter Simpsons fanatics.)

Scrubs isn’t derivative because (a) it has lasted longer and will be in syndication forever and (b) while both are comedies, Scrubs occasionally has more emotional depth. Parker Lewis Can’t Lose was a safe show to watch. It was right in the title! He couldn’t lose! In Scrubs, patients you like sometimes die and more than once the writers made me cry while I was laughing. That’s really hard to do in twenty-two minutes of what’s often a silly show.

Both shows use some of the same devices, but the stories and characters are plenty different. That’s not derivative. (Of course, Scrubs has moved around so much in broadcast times and even networks that I haven’t seen it for several seasons now. They lost me when they went to the January to June format to accommodate Zach Braff’s movie career.)

There are no new plots but there are plenty of characters and plot permutations and combinations to last us until the sun explodes. If someone tells you you’ve written something derivative, you can say:

“Tell me more.”

“Anything else?”

or

“You’re an ass hat.”

BONUS:

*Did you catch the subtext here? To talk about writing, we always use examples from popular TV shows and movies as a shortcut to mutual understanding. Yes, that’s writing, too, but isn’t it a bit sad that we don’t have enough common examples to draw from in books? I could blog for days on Fight Club, but since a bunch of you haven’t read it (still!) it’s not a common enough example to use as a currency on a writing site. Maybe you’ve all seen the movie. There are so many books and far fewer popular shows and movies, but in our culture what we watch interprets our world. We don’t have enough text in common, so go read something.