C h a z z W r i t e s . c o m

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06/15/2010 • 10:48 PM 0

Misinterpretations

Writers are misunderstood all the time. Horror authors are often asked, for instance, why they identify with the evil monster. (Nobody asks them if they identify with the hero, for some reason.) misinterpretation is rampant, especially in song lyrics. For a long time, I thought the lyric was “I believe in marigolds!” (not miracles.)

You must see this site about the Top Ten Most Misinterpreted Song Meanings. Great reading! And yes, I believed the Phil Collins myth about In the Air Tonight. Fantastic read!

Filed under: Unintentionally hilarious, web reviews, top ten most misinterpreted songs

06/15/2010 • 7:06 PM 0

On Truman Capote Love and A-Team Hate

Truman Capote once said of Jack Kerouac’s On The Road, “That’s not writing! That’s typing!” Yeah, he was a real bitch sometimes. However:

1. I admire In Cold Blood very much,

2. found his biography tragic yet inspiring,

3. loved both the Phillip Seymour Hoffman and Toby Young movies

4. and yearn for the good old days when a flamboyantly gay and genuinely wild character could be high on a nationally syndicated talk show and make Dick Cavett squirm.

They don’t build literary figures like Truman Capote anymore.

BONUS:

As Hannibal said, “I love it when a plan comes together.”* **

*If you catch the old reference, your childhood was wasted, too.

**If you catch the new reference, you’ve recently wasted a couple of hours at the movie theater.

Filed under: Writers, A-Team, Truman Capote, writers

06/15/2010 • 12:34 PM 0

I resolve to be a better supervillain, uh, no, I mean, writer.

Amidst a flurry of productivity pumping out short stories lately I was reminded of a book I read a long time ago. Had I heeded its message when I read it I would have several books behind me by now.

The book is The War of Art, Winning the Inner Creative Battle by Steven Pressfield. (Highly recommended!) One key is, treat it like it’s a job. You don’t wait for time to surface, you dive deep to get it. You don’t wait for inspiration to strike, you assume inspiration will appear once you start typing (sadly this never happened for the writers of Sex & the City, the story of three hookers and their transvestite dad, Kim Cattrail.)

Don’t be a dilettante. Establish a writing schedule and stick to it.

I’ve called this meeting because we must come up with a plan to kill Superman!

Whoops! Sorry, wrong speech.

Filed under: book reviews, publishing, Rant, rules of writing, writing tips, writers, writing schedule, writing tip

06/15/2010 • 12:27 PM 0

Most Depressing Writing Tip Ever

Get a Merck’s Manual or just peruse medical databases or watch House. However you get the information, I find that delving into the perverse ways God screws us over can really take your writing to another level.

I had a plot problem in a story because I wanted something interesting to keep a man from getting on a plane to attend his brother’s funeral. I found something exotic and X-files wierd for him to suffer and voila, interesting things ensued.

It’s a ghastly world. Babies are born with two heads and people have strange perceptions of the world, like that it’s a happy place, for instance.

Filed under: writing tips, existential angst, medical conditions, writing tip

06/15/2010 • 12:23 PM 0

Best Spin City joke ever!

Mike, upon learning somebody’s dating a writer:

“A writer? A writer is just an actor who’s too lazy to wait tables!”

Filed under: Uncategorized, Writers

06/15/2010 • 12:19 PM 0

Moving on from Burma

Myanmar used to be called Burma. A secretive totalitarian military regime took over. Apparently the media doesn’t like it but it is reality. Reporters must stop saying “Further tragedy in Burma today, sometimes called Myanmar” or “Myanmar, formerly known as Burma” or “Burma! Burma! Burma!”

Filed under: Uncategorized, Burma, Media, Myanmar, Reportage

06/15/2010 • 1:03 AM 0

Death to Adverbs

An editor sent me a pdf today so I could check my column for an upcoming mag issue.* I made a small change and then, startled, stared hard at the first paragraph again. Had I really written, “She asked me demandingly, “BLAHBLAHBLAH…”?!

I sent the editor a note that I really needed that to change to “she demanded…” whiningly.

He came back with, “Can you demand a question?” (inquisitively)

I e-mailed back, “Sure. Demanded catches her demeanor but you can demand an answer in the form of a question.” (breezily)

And even if you can’t do that grammatically I don’t care. I trust my ear over grammatic semantics and there’s a time to use an adverb like “demandingly.” That time is never or two weeks after the sun explodes. (he said defiantly)

Not sure. I’ll go look it up. (assiduously)

BONUS:

Folks in the magazine business always call it “the book” not the “issue.” I always suspiciously thought that betrayed insecurity on their part.

Filed under: grammar, writing tips, adverbs, death to adverbs, writing rules, writing tips

06/15/2010 • 12:54 AM 0

Writing Tip: Can you say it?

I just finished listening to a CBC Radio interview with Clive James. He’s one of those fascinating writers who also speak in complete sentences and paragraphs, off the top of his head as if from a prepared text that’s informative, entertaining and engaging. He’s led a wonderful life and he’s been paying attention, it seems, to everything.

He said something that will stick with me: “Sayability.” In everything he writes, one of his tests for whether it’s worthy is whether he can say it, perform it, speak it to an audience and be easily understood.

Nice. It’s a solid standard and makes me want to check out his book Cultural Amnesia.

I can say that.

Filed under: Writers, writing tips, Clive James, writing tip

06/14/2010 • 12:17 PM 0

Scott Sigler’s Book Trailer for Ancestor

Scott Sigler tweeted me this link yesterday. Good trailer to promote his latest book. Production values in book trailers are really shooting up! Scott Sigler is not just a compelling writer. He used podcasting, web and viral promotion to fuel his success. Publishers didn’t recognize his potential. He proved them wrong. Through persistence and strategy, Mr. Sigler found his way to success by giving.

I WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT SCOTT SIGLER’S SUCCESS STORY.

Filed under: Writers, Ancestor, book trailer, Scott Sigler

06/14/2010 • 11:45 AM 0

How to talk to an Editor (pleasantly)

Rule #1: Most important in this or any business: Be the pleasant solution, not the grumpy problem.

Scenario:

You write a piece for a magazine. They edit it (gently I hope) and before they send it off to the printer, they send you a dummy in the form of a pdf file. Depending on the mag, they may also require a fact check and copies of all your notes etc.,…

Though the editor has gone over the story and it looks like the magazine page, go over it carefully. Ultimately, my name’s on the piece, so I have to be happy with it. However, this is not the time for you to make major changes. It was supposed to be close to perfect when you sent it in. There will be a few notes here and there, sometimes so many you’d think the copy editor went at their keyboard with oven mitts. Usually it’ll be details.

Correct the mistakes. How you talk to the editor is based on what relationship you’ve built up over time. I have an editor I’ve worked with for a few years now and, like many jobs I’ve had, I sometimes suspect I don’t get fired because I amuse them. Be yourself, only better. Don’t assume familiarity too quickly, but build the relationship so you get assignments. Do a great job so you earn the next job, too, of course.

I just got a pdf tonight for a health mag I write for. One of my precious/funny anecdotes had been deleted from the story. I don’t decry the loss because that’s an editorial choice I can live with. The length often gets cut not because of the content but because magazine and newspaper content is just the stuff they’re trying to fit between the ads. (In newspapers, they crassly call it “The News Hole” which also gives you an insight into the perceived value of reporters’ hard work.)

Below is a copy of what I’d consider typical of a reply to an editor (I know really well) with a few things I want changed in the pdf. Sometimes it’s a lot more but this editor edits clean so my suggestions are minor.

See? Freelancing can be fun.

EXAMPLE:

My Queen,

Looks good. Just a couple of quibbles:

1. If you have the space, MSG is another migraine trigger that would be good to mention. Alert the populace!

2. Under For the joy of it, the phrase “hanging around” is used too close together. How about: “As long as we’ve been on the planet…”

3. The paragraph starting “Poke an animal with a stick” appears to have a double indent making it non-uniform and so it is deviant and must be crushed…sorry, my upbringing in a Catholic girl’s school is showing.

Okay, that’s three quibbles, but that’ll do. Any other objection I have is microscopic and really revolves around my sublimated resentments about not yet winning the lottery, not controlling my world and…I’ve said too much…back to writing about the existential horror of it all. Did I mention that we’re all just genetically programmed meat machines awaiting the heat death of the universe? Probably. I put it on outgoing my voice mail message, too.*

Chazz

The Impossible

BONUS:

*I know this editor well and joking around a lot opened the door to writing a couple of humor pieces for the mag, as well. Early on? Much more formal, short, to the point and business-like…because, hey man, whether you like it or not, this is a business.