Not in a Valentine’s Day sort of mood? Excellent! Here’s something we hope you’ll really like*:

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*10 points to Gryffindor if you caught the subtle Rocky and Bullwinkle reference.

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Warning: No spoilers exactly but spoilers are hinted at.

As I write this, I’m watching Bates Motel on Netflix. This season is undoubtedly the best of the series. Here’s why I think it stands out and what we might take from it for our own storytelling:

1. There came a point where a lesser storyteller would have made Norman’s psychologist do a dumb thing. The writers didn’t take that easy turn. Instead, they made him sharp and consistently observant. I hate it when plots only work because a character is suddenly an idiot.
2. Consistent menace. The writers had me vaguely worried even during an innocent game of croquet. That game has mallets and the scene contained a possibly dangerous conversation.
3. The end of each episode is addictive, even when it’s not a cliffhanger per se. If this were a book, I’d keep reading. I’m still watching. This book would be a page turner.
4. Complex characters. People are neither all good nor all bad, like real people. Would-be killers sometimes show mercy. (Chick is a fantastic character who reminded me how much I love complex villains. There aren’t enough of those in fiction.)
5. Believable detail: Freddie Highmore delivers an amazing performance. More than that, the production really sells the authenticity of his incarceration, even down to the legal nitty gritty of getting out of an asylum (without boring us).
6. Complexity of plot. The plot unwinds as the pressure slowly builds. Foreshadowing is hinted at here and there. Something terrible is going to happen. Even when nothing appears to be happening, the subtext is rich.
7. Emotional depth. The plot is good (and by that I mean it matters) because it develops from rich characters. You don’t have to empathize with every character to find each one compelling.
8. Stakes. There are innocent people (or fairly innocent people trying their best) who will meet bad ends, no doubt. What makes it work is that the secondary characters are about to get knocked off their planned trajectories. No red shirt knows he is a red shirt. He’s got plans for a long happy life until the phaser is set to kill.
9. Mystery. Confident authors don’t spill their guts all at once. For instance, someone goes missing without explanation of where they went. The payoff is coming. If there is enough going on, readers will wait. (They won’t wait if we don’t give them enough to chew on, of course.)
10. Every character wants something that conflicts with others’ aims. Not just heroes versus villains, either. People we love can stand in our way for their own good reasons, too.

I have the same feeling about this season of Bates Motel as I do with a good book. I must  keep going to find out where all this will lead. I think I’ll be sorry when it’s over. Compelling entertainment is not ubiquitous.

~ I am Robert Chazz Chute. I write books about AI, zombies, cool anti-heroes and strange apocalyptic scenaria. I make podcasts about how we can calm the hell down. See what I mean at my author page (and pick up a freebie) at AllThatChazz.com.

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1. Favorite author: William Goldman. Reading him taught me how to write fiction.
2. Favorite book in my lifetime: The Color of Light
3. Favorite book in school: Animal Farm. Portnoy’s Complaint was solid, too.
4. An author I used to like and now can’t remember why: Norman Mailer.
5. Overrated: Hemingway’s novels. A Moveable Feast is just mean. The shorts are still okay. 
6. Dead authors I’d like to meet: Robert Heinlein for the sci-fi conversation, Kurt Vonnegut because I wrote a book in which he is a character (Wallflower) and I share his worldview.
7. Favorite book I wrote: Difficult choice but either This Plague of Days, Dream’s Dark Flight or Brooklyn in the Mean Time (I can’t choose any fewer of my children than that! Geez!)
8. Best solo podcast: Spalding Gray, Live Recordings
9. Best news podcast: The Young Turks
10. Best comedy podcast: The Scathing Atheist
11. Best movie (comedy): I keep watching The Big Lebowski even though I thought I was done with it.
12. Best movie (drama) ~ tie: Fight Club, The Usual Suspects & The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
13. Best TV Series: West Wing
14. Best TV (comedy): News Radio
15. Best drink ~ tie: Pina Colada & Singapore Sling (Slings used to be a big thing.)
16. Place I need to get back to: Bermuda. When I was 16, I promised myself I’d go back.
17. The city I’d live in if I wasn’t where I am: Victoria, BC
18. Best architecture I’ve visited: The Peace Palace
19. Most interesting attraction: Hearst Castle for the fascinating conspicuous consumption.
20. Biggest celebrity I’ve met: A hug from director Kevin Smith easily beats two Canadian prime ministers
21. Best cake: Black Forest Cake in the Black Forest ruined all other Black Forest cakes forever. Don’t even try.
22. Podcast I once loved and now it’s hit and miss: The Joe Rogan Experience
23. First odd factoid that comes to mind: The word for popping out an eyeball is exoculation.
24. Strange obsession: Obscure words and Latin phrases
25. Spookiest known fact: With her last breath, my mother waved goodbye from her deathbed.
26. Movie obsession: At 20, Hong Kong action flicks. Now? Any movie with Humphrey Bogart.
27. Movies I want to see: A new Iron Man movie each month starring RDJ
28. Movie star who disappoints me most ~ three-way tie: Gwyneth Paltrow for selling dangerous snake oil, Chuck Norris for his far right political views and Donald Trump for accidentally becoming president by catering to fear. (I say accidentally because even he didn’t think he’d make it this far.)
29. Movies people think I’d like but can take or leave: Star Wars. (Trek is better.)
30. Least favorite thing about others: Lack of compassion
31. Most favorite thing about others: Generosity of spirit
32. Injuries: A messed up knee, chipped teeth, broken toe (sparring)
33. Worst injury inflicted on another: Broken wrist (sparring)
34. Easiest years of my life: University. I was out of the workforce doing something easy.
35. Worst job: Working for my family in a warehouse and retail.
36. Weirdest job: Working for Harlequin proofing romances on the night shift.
37. Best job: Drinking coffee while writing books to entertain you.
38. Least favorite thing about me: My memory for offences is too good and I lost touch with a lot of friends due to bouts of depression.
39. Special talents: Frightening and uncanny laser accuracy pinpointing triggerpoints for healing intent or for pain compliance/debilitation techniques, pattern recognition in both threat assessment and postural assessment scenaria, pro jokemeister, witty banter, blasphemer.
40. If I weren’t this, what would I be?: I’d write and direct movies.
41. Plan for 2017: Write more books and record more podcasts as I live up to the aspirations and inspirations of my latest non-fiction book, Do the Thing!

Pick a number.

What’s your fave or detail you’d like to share in the comments?

~ I’m Robert Chazz Chute, a writer and wood stove enthusiast. Please check out my author page at AllThatChazz.com for a freebie (Haunting Lessons) and the All That Chazz Stress Relief Podcast. You’ll also see links to all my books there so, hey, you know the drill. Enjoy.

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I’ve written a bunch of books. They were all passion projects. Unfortunately, not everyone shares my passions. The zombie books sold and continue to sell. I might be summering in Rio if I had stuck with one genre. That doesn’t mean I wish I had only catered to one genre and made it more lucrative. The details are a little more refined than that. Let’s make it simple. If I were starting again, here’s what I’d do:

1. Pseudonyms only. It makes no difference to the final product but psychologically it’s less stressful on the post-production end.
2. One genre and, of course, one author page per pseudonym. That separation helps Amazon algos sell books without muddling the reader pool. Readers are more specific in their wants than many authors. If they want zombie fiction, they don’t want my crime thrillers and vice versa.
3. Build out the series into longer strings of books.
4. Write shorter books, fewer big bricks.
5. Focus more of my energies on the series that sell and earn the time and privilege of my artsy passions later.
6. I won’t stretch out a story longer than it takes to tell it. That wouldn’t serve the readers. However, I wouldn’t be against writing more stories in the same universe and tying it all together. (Just did that with Dream’s Dark Flight, a stand alone that fits with the Dimension War Series.)
7. Write more of what readers actually read instead of what I want to read. I know the typical advice is to write what you want to read (and it is important to know your genre.) However, I’m a writer. I finally figured out (since working under pseudonyms) that I can write in just about any genre and make it interesting for myself. 

There are many other things I’d do differently, of course, but that would be a good start. Now I’ll retcon and reverse engineer that plan. Or build a time machine. The time machine is coming along pretty well.

~ I’m a writer across several genres, darn it. Couldn’t beat the ADD. I just started a podcast in which I go deep on life management issues. The podcast is complementary to my latest book, Do the Thing! It’s about managing stress, pain, time and energy. Find out more on my author page at www.AllThatChazz.com. 

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Each Thursday night the Self-publishing Roundtable goes live. You can check it out as it airs live at 10 EST or pick it up on YouTube at your leisure.

Last Thursday, I got together for an hour with Zoe York, Erica Conroy and Wade Finnegan to talk about the latest news in publishing. It’s a fun discussion. The Roundtable is always fun. Come see the knights of the roundtable talk about Stephen King battling Amazon for his identity, Author Earnings, leaving KU and plummeting author incomes.

We’re fun…but not always safe for work.

Check it out here.

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I recently had a great discussion with Mat and Nancy on the Author Strong Podcast. I think it’s one of the most productive and useful discussions we have had. We talked about why, when and how to use pseudonyms, book cover design, planning and repositioning a series. I didn’t have a plan so now I have to double back.

This chat could save you a lot of time and frustration (which I currently feel.)

To hear us talk this out, check out this fun discussion here.

Speaking of repositioning, I wrote a book called Intense Violence, Bizarre Themes.

Here’s the new title and cover:

You can pick up this thriller about my criminal past here. 

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David, as always, on point and serving up the best journalism on publishing.

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Eager means you’re really want to do something.

Anxious connotes nervousness. 

I’m not anxious to get back to work. I’m eager to get back to work on my book.

I’m anxious that the revisions are going slowly.

I have made this mistake in the past because anxious was often used as a synonym for eager where I grew up. Come to think of it, the way we talked suggested to outsiders that we were all can do and can’t wait people. Instead, we were trembling, all nerves and rage. Some things I can’t do and I often wait.

Ah, childhood. So much like adulthood. 

~ I’m Robert Chazz Chute. Get a free review copy of my kick ass apocalypse, The Haunting Lessons, at AllThatChazz.com.

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