C h a z z W r i t e s . c o m

A few years ago I published posts to this blog daily. It was the beginning of the publishing revolution and I had a lot to say. I post much less often now because it’s all in the archives, I’ve got books to write and mouths to feed. Recently, I was reminded of the Thomas Mann quote: 

“A writer is someone for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people.”

A writer asked for advice on a single, short sentence. The votes poured in. People gave advice on what wording they preferred and their rationale for their preference. Some were a little…uh…strident. This post is not about their choices. It’s about our approach to writing and how we can get in our own way.

I’ve gotten in my own way during the editing process many times. I’m doing it right now! I’ve analyzed until I’m anal. I’ve reworded, polished, refined, worried, revisited and reworked. Conscientiousness is one thing. However, sometimes writers get too precious, to the point of procrastination. We make a virtue out of a fault. We can edit so hard that natural wording becomes unnatural. We can be so precise that we never get a book done, so exacting that the life and voice is deleted from our storytelling.

I wrote a couple of books about writing a few years ago. I unpublished one because I felt it had become too specific to its time. The other (Crack the Indie Author Code) I’ve left up on Amazon because it’s less about mechanics and mostly about inspiration. I drew on my experiences in traditional publishing and encouraged readers to take the leap to writing in the indie world. I provided guidelines and tips but no laws. Sometimes the ear is more important to the storyteller than the eye.

Professionalizing writing would suggest we avoid words like professionalization. Never verb a noun, not even in dialogue, not even for a joke. No sentence fragments. Some agents will tell you not to use prologues and epilogues, never ever! Pedants will stop reading if they — gadzooks!— encounter any use of passive voice. All adverbs must die! Rabid grammarians will go on endlessly about the horrors of the split infinitive. Some will demand the Oxford comma or pretend they don’t know what “scare quotes” mean. Don’t you dare break the fourth wall, either. Edit, revise and edit again until you hate your book because if you aren’t insecure, if you don’t loathe it, it can’t be any good. Don’t publish it because it’ll never be good enough, anyway. Know-it-alls will lecture the innocent on the use of commas until you’re too scared to commit a single line to paper.

Many of these scolds mean well. They may, in fact, love writing and editing. I’m not sure they love reading anymore, though. The danger is they’ll pound the love of books out of you, too.

Worse, they’re so goddamn sure they know what is best for everybody else. In their minds, creativity is fine but there is only one right way! Hang ee cummings, screw Walt Whitman and you can learn nothing from the pulp writers. It’s the Iowa Workshop or nothing! The War on Fun never ends.

Writers editing other writers can be extremely helpful or among the worst offenders. Writers need to read as the average reader. Civilians read for enjoyment. Writers often forget that trick. Meanwhile, many of the most successful writers working today are writing fast, telling simple, straightforward and linear stories. And they’re having fun. Sometimes they start sentences with conjunctions, too. Odd, huh?

I encourage writers to listen to editors, beta readers and their readers but don’t try to listen to them all. Don’t let your voice get edited away. Preserve the you in your writing. (On my first pass I wrote, “Preserve your unique voice in your work,” then, “Preserve your unique voice,” and “Preserve your unique writer’s voice.” That’s a symptom of today’s complaint. No one but another writer would pause to analyze that. A reader skips over it as quick as they can and gets the hell on with their day.)

Not all writing has to sound the same. I’d prefer it didn’t.

Be careful who you listen to. Be careful to whom you listen…um. No, don’t…uh….sigh.

God damn it. Goddammit!

~ Robert Chazz Chute writes fun suspenseful thrillers and scary epics about the end of the world. Find his work on his author site, AllThatChazz.com.

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Here’s some good news.

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Another great article from David Gaughran, and it’s worrisome. I’m waiting for someone to pop up in the comments to say we can’t fight City Hall and Amazon will be Amazon. They might not be wrong but it’s shitty to say we shouldn’t even complain, be grateful and take our lumps for the privilege of selling there. (This is a common theme when objections to Amazon’s policies come up. It’s the inverse of Amazon Derangement Syndrome where everything Amazon does is evil.) Not complaining to Amazon to try to change the situation doesn’t sound very businesslike to me, though.

There are calls to go wide as a protest. The problem is, the other sales platforms tend to suck for many genres. I tried going wide but I’m all in with KDP because I could profit there. Until they come for my head, anyway. To Amazon, listen to authors as well as customers. To Apple, Google, Kobo etc.,… please step up your game and give Amazon stiffer competition.

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David’s reportage is always excellent and the concerns he raises are infuriating. ~ Chazz

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Whether we’re writing screenplays, plays, novels or short stories, look for the little moments that reveal character. Last week I saw Wonder Woman. The action is big and there are many great moments in the movie. There is one moment, however, that I keep thinking about. 

OBLIGATORY SPOILER ALERT: This observation doesn’t affect the plot but I found it inspiring as a writer. Okay? Okay.

Diana is in London. Early on, she’s excited to spot a baby in the street. They don’t have those where she comes from. Soon we’re shown the Pretty Woman Trying On Dresses Montage. It’s the classic fish out of water set up. Nothing new there but fun enough.

In London, it’s clear she has great empathy for the wounded returning from war. (Note: we also see nurses caring for the wounded as they get off the ship.) This reveals character. One funny moment sticks with me more than others. I’m so glad the filmmakers took the time to show us this little bit extra.

As she’s leaving London, Diana tastes ice cream for the first time and enjoys it very much. She goes back to the vendor (whom we cannot see) to say, “You should be very proud!” Giggles and sweetness. That one line reveals character and a value of her culture, too.

Unlike the dark knight, in Wonder Woman we have a hero who is as innocent as she is powerful. In that tiny moment more than any other, the character charmed us. From the trailers, it looks like Spider-Man Homecoming strikes this same chord. 

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice was lifeless because it had only one relentless tone. It would have done better if somebody had a sense of humor to punch up the script. (The Lex Luthor character was reviled in the reviews but Jesse Eisenberg stopped that film from becoming completely airless.) The heroes in Batman V. Superman had no small moments to charm us.

Suicide Squad, though not as terrible as its reviews, ultimately failed for me because I didn’t really like anybody enough. We all want someone in the story to cheer for and with whom we can, on some level, identify. 

I would watch Wonder Woman again someday just as I’ve watched Robert Downey Jr’s Iron Man multiple times. The successful journeys do not pitch one relentless tone. There’s humor, action, heart and pathos. Those are fun roller coaster rides and that’s what I strive for in my entertainment, whether I’m watching it, reading it or writing it.

~ Want a ride on a roller coaster? See what I write at AllThatChazz.com.

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Need to know.

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House of Cards has returned to Netflix and I binge watched, just like all the other seasons. As I took it in, I wondered what lessons I could apply to my own writing.

Here are my thoughts:

1. When too much time passes between seasons (or between books in a series) it’s easy to lose the thread. I sat there thinking, who are these people and what are they talking about? I have to put out my books in series faster. If I can’t, I need good recaps.
2. I’m a fan of varying the tone. House of Cards was especially witty in its first season. Now it’s relentlessly grim. Plots should be music with up ups and down downs. This is the drone of an air conditioner.
3. When the plot gets so convoluted that you have to make a character say, “I meant to do that all along,” the plot’s not working. I get the feeling the writers are as lost as I am.
4. Why aren’t they doing what hooked us in the first place? In earlier seasons, when Kevin Spacey turned to the camera for a witty aside, it was magic. The soliloquies were intimate. In the latest iteration, he hardly does it and, when he does, it’s big and over the top, stepping much farther out of the moment. It was clever and well-written before. What the critics complained about before finally seems true: it does feel like a gimmick now.
5. Those loose threads where problems just seem to float away (hint: somebody taking a fall) are irritating. That’s not suspense. That’s providing a temporary solution that’s too easy.
6. Do the deaths from past seasons matter or not? While some crusaders are digging into the mystery and corruption, we’re also given the message that losses have no consequence.
7. Who am I supposed to be rooting for? There seem very few people to like. I loved Dexter and he was a serial killer. Frank Underwood’s charm is gone. Even the hypnotizing cadence of his speech pattern seems muted now.
8. When the main character willingly abandons his goal that was clearly his mission from the very beginning of the journey, it’s a betrayal. They told us we were going to Disney. Nope. It’s a trip to the vet.
9. Some of the sex scenes were hot. Some were grim. At least one seemed unnecessary. Were they just filling time or trying to keep our attention?
10. House of Cards is overstaying its welcome. There seems a lot of filler. When I got to the end I was surprised to find they weren’t wrapping it up. This show seems destined to dissipate with a whimper, not a bang.

And now the good news

What I learned from a brilliant young ventriloquist:

1. Wanks will tell you it’s all been done. Maybe so, but if you’ve got charm and panache, you can breathe life into something stale, make it new and different. Some people told me zombie apocalypses were dumb. This Plague of Days goes outside what’s expected of the genre and that trilogy is still my biggest seller years later.
2. Little moments can make a huge difference. When she says, “Oh, boy,” in the video, I knew this was going to be awesome. When Petunia puts a paw over her mouth to stop her from singing and that girl’s eyes pop, MAGIC!
3. To stand out, go bigger, bolder and better. Blow us away!
4. To be loved, stay humble and sweet.
5. Dare to do what could look nerdy to those who don’t understand.
6. Perfect your craft. Here’s a kid who spends hours practicing in front of the mirror.
7. Have fun with it.
8. The work is an extension of you. Embrace that and you’ll have authenticity.
9. Don’t expect a standing ovation. When it hits, soak it in. That kind of appreciation for a grand performance? It’s the best.
10. Art is worth it.* The most unexpected things can have a great impact. I’ve watched that video three or four times now. I cry every time. If you don’t weep for such greatness, change out that motherboard you call a heart, you robot!

*Except mime and juggling. That shit is never worth it.

~ Check out my latest stress relief podcast at AllThatChazz.com. Buy some cool books while you’re there because that relieves your stress and mine. There are rewards for patrons. 

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I just found out (via author Patti Larson on Facebook) that ACX is now accepting Canadian authors. Finally! I’ve complained loudly about this disparity for years.

Yes, there were complicated ways around it so, technically, Canucks could get in. It was harder for us and didn’t feel right so I kept making ebooks and paperbacks. I waited, hoping that whatever made ACX treat Canucks like the ginger stepchild would go away. Now the wall has dropped. This is great news! Hm…or….

Or is it too little, too late? Too much?

When ACX first came on the scene, it was a very favorable profit split for authors. Then, overnight, they changed the percentage. Many authors pointed to their ACX experience as a reason to stay out of KU. They didn’t want to be at the mercy of a capricious pricing policy change. 

Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad the ACX option is finally open to Canadians. I think if they’d waited much longer it would be moot. Within a few more years you’ll gladly let Siri read a book to you. The tech will improve sufficiently that bots will mimic a human voice actor, you won’t even cringe. (I still smile at the human voice actor in one audiobook who pronounced, “analyst” with the emphasis on “anal.” It came up a lot in that book, too.)

Mounting the resources and meeting the expenses of audiobook production is still a challenge. You have to find the right voice actor and work out a deal. If you can afford to pay them up front, that’s better. That option is out of most author’s reach. ACX is a long commitment, so that’s a factor. Audiobooks have weird pricing, too. I always get mine through Audible Daily Deals.

FYI: I’m listening to The Secrets of Story by Matt Bird on Audible. It’s fantastic! If you’re an author (and if you’re reading this you must be) get that book!

I’m excited about this possibility and a bit intimidated, too. I have to pay off a big surprise tax bill and send my eldest to university in September. I’m not in a gambling mood. I’ve heard mixed results from author friends over the years. Some say audiobooks have boosted their ROI immensely. On the face of it, it would seem that offering our work in more formats is a no-brainer. Of course we should get our books out to everyone in whatever format they want to consume it! (But that’s not how spreadsheets and profit and loss works, is it?)

So I throw it out to you, fellow authors. If you’re a Canuck, are you jumping in with ACX? 

If you have produced audiobooks with ACX, would you recommend it or, given your experience, would you go another route? What’s your experience?

Thanks in advance for letting us know!

~ Chazz

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