06/08/2010 • 8:49 PM 0
At the end of a play universally regarded as a fiasco, Oscar Wilde quipped that the show was a grand success but “the audience was a disaster.” Much on my mind as I work on my performance of the short story The Sum of Me for the Canwrite writer’s conference. We, who are about to rock the mic, salute you!
Filed under: Rejection
06/08/2010 • 3:39 PM 0
Over 20 years ago I worked for the Chronicle Herald and Mail Star in Nova Scotia. I was still in journalism school and they hired me on so I could merrily report on drug busts, fires, car accidents and take lots of pictures ($7.50 for each pic then–if you can believe it–so I took a lot of them!) It was great training on an independent newspaper, known among staff as The Chonically Horrid.
Had I not moved to Toronto to get into book publishing, I might still be there…and I’d have a 25% chance of being out of a job this cold morning in my middle age (assuming I don’t drop dead any second now…that would make this my old age. I digress.) I had a bunch of friends from the old days who worked there. I wonder how many of them are suddenly freelance writers like me after all. And where are they on paying off their mortgages? Poor bastards.
The paper cut staff drastically. But it’s not just a black and white, yes or no, will newspapers survive question. Funding for investigative reporting has dropped precipitously across all newspapers. You have to budget for reporters to travel and work on the investigative piece and then you have to budget for the litigation that may ensue. The ad dollars that fund all that aren’t there anymore, in many cases dropping to 10 cents on the dollar.
The Halifax newspaper’s rallying cry this morning on CBC Radio was that they were still the biggest newsroom in the province. Sure, but the newspaper’s shrinking and the subscriber price isn’t going down. Instead of sticking with outdated business models, they reacted too late to the development of the Internet. More people are switching to getting their news for free over the net and ad dollars follow eyeballs to advertise on web pages.
The editor-spokesunit said they’d still be “blowing the lid off stories.” They didn’t do that before so that’s a new policy. I well remember how envious we were of Canada’s national newspaper at the time when they devoted a couple of reporters to an investigative piece over the course of weeks. Weeks?! We were expected to write several stories a day to fill the news hole (that unimportant little space between the ads.)
I’m going to miss newspapers. I’m sure they’ll still be around for some time yet, but they’ll be smaller and pack less punch. I do love a big heavy newspaper and a coffee on a lazy Sunday morning in my big comfy pleather chair. Sigh. Extinction begins with a long period of denial followed by a brief bit of screaming and kicking and then, nothing.
However, other things shall evolve in the place of newspapers. E-readers are the tiny beginning, a trickle in the coming tide. Big changes in the book publishing industry are coming, too.* Strap yourself in and wear a helmet.
*I wrote this piece some time ago but I think it holds up. The dying–and what rises from those cremated, inky ashes–is still in process.
Filed under: Rant, death of newspapers, superman cartoon, what's next?
06/07/2010 • 11:03 PM 0
Don’t use the word “epiphany.”
Bolts from the blue should be big enough on their own without the announcement: “Hey, Ted had an epiphany!” It’s the show, don’t tell rule applied to the e-word.
And that’s my epiphany, coming straight at you from the wonderful (if snarky little book) How Not to Write a Novel by Howard Mittelmark & Sandra Newman.
Pick it up and read read read.
Filed under: Books, writing tips, epiphany, writing tip
06/07/2010 • 3:31 PM 0
Last night Breaking Bad’s ending exemplified one of the best aspects of a well-crafted story: surprise. 
William Goldman (author of The Princess Bride, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Marathon Man, All the President’s Men among many others) is the master of the twisted plot. Just when you think you know what’s going to happen next, he suckerpunches you. In my favorite novel, The Color of Light, Goldman surprises the reader in the last few words, just when you thought you were safe from any more surprises. I love that.
And, for the same reasons, I love Breaking Bad, Sunday nights on AMC. Watch it.
BONUS: Read Ken Levine’s blog about the surprise ending of Newhart (and how they pulled it off.)
Filed under: Books, Writers, writing tips, Breaking Bad, Newhart, plot twists, The Princess Bride, William Goldman
06/05/2010 • 9:21 PM 0
Last night I stayed up late to finish an excellent book of British crime fiction called How to be Bad. It was often funny and surprising. Loved it.
However, it’s amazing how fragile a narrative is. I was speeding along having a good time when I hit this speed bump: “…she kind of shrugged with her eyes.” That bounced me right out of the author’s world for a bit. I actually had to put down the book to go look in a mirror to see if I could shrug with my eyes.With a tic and an arch I can sort of convey that with my eyebrows I guess.
When you’re writing, make sure you don’t hit a sour note or ask the impossible from your characters. Stay clear of that minefield and you have a better shot at sucking the reader into your story.
BONUS:
“Said” is the best tag. because the tag allows readers to skip along. (e.g. “Put down the bloody bologna,” she said.)
Don’t say he or she “hissed”, especially if there are no “s” sounds in the dialogue.
Filed under: writing tips, narrative, right words, writing tags
06/04/2010 • 6:40 PM 0
Today at 11:50 a.m., I wrote the words “The End.” The first draft of my novel Romeo, Juliet & Jerome, is complete. Lots of uphill editing and revision ahead, yes. However, for today, it is a small victory on the journey. I began writing Romeo in May 2009. Squeezed between other projects and the projects of others, sacrifices were made, time was devoted. Progress is made. in many ways, the free and fun part is behind me. But I love editing, too. I’ll hone the draft and make it sharp and send it off to market this fall. In a word…hurray.
Filed under: This Week's Missions, accomplishment, first draft, writing milestone
06/03/2010 • 11:51 PM 0
There’s a place you can go where a story is waiting for you. Dozens of stories unfold there. It’s a rich well of humanity’s follies. Spin, permutate, combine what you see and you’ll find plenty of drama unfolding with each person you observe.
A single case can be fruitful but I like the arraignments where they go through dozens of cases in a short time.
Sit. Watch. Take notes. In criminal court you are neck deep in conflicts to fuel thousands of stories.
As a crime reporter I once saw a witness describe what the two offenders wore at the scene of the crime. They were not a couple of Lex Luthors. These geniuses wore exactly the same outfits to court that they wore on the day they robbed a liquor store. It sure made it easier for the witness.
The laughter through the courtroom was spontaneous, echoing off the marble as they were quickly hauled away.
Filed under: Uncategorized
06/03/2010 • 3:03 PM 0
Dude sends “Pretentious Literary Journal” a submission. Six years later he receives their reply. Read and enjoy at Jason Sanford’s blog. Hero of the Afternoon Award to Mr. Sanford for his cutting autopsy of said journal. I only wish he had named names.
*Found through the great Writer Rejected at Literary Rejections on Display.
Filed under: publishing, Rant, Unintentionally hilarious, literary journals, rejection
06/02/2010 • 6:38 PM 5
They say: That was interesting and then add nothing else.
They mean: It wasn’t interesting.
They say: You made an interesting artistic choice there. At the turning point three quarters of the way through I would have done this…
They mean: If this was a totally different story, written by me, I’d like it.
They say: I found a bunch of typos here and you split an infinitive there and you like sentence fragments too much, cuz you know, that’s not a complete sentence…
They mean: I am a grammarian and hope to be an editor one day. Otherwise I am useless to you, but I can continue to be annoying. Later on I’ll be bewildered that no one ever sits near me or speaks to me at the break.
They say: Kaddoos to you!
They mean: I am an illiterate who doesn’t know the word kudos, so don’t take my praise so seriously.
They say: I absolutely love everything you write.
They mean: I want to sleep with you and hope you share my fetish.
They say: Where do you get your ideas?
They mean: Are you really the abused prostitute in the story and is it wrong that turns me on?
They say: There’s a few quibbles. Maybe you could engage more senses here and here and tell more than show in the last couple pages because it feel like you’re rushing the end.
They mean: I can make useful suggestions without trying to put you down to make myself feel good.
They say: I don’t care for fantasy stories so I really don’t have anything to say about that.
They mean: just what they said and that’s fair. If you hate a genre and can’t get past it, don’t comment on it.
They say: That wouldn’t happen.
They mean: That’s either outside my experience and I have no idea what I’m talking about or you have to write more to convince me that’s the ring of truth I’m hearing and not you working the smoke and mirrors.
You say: What do you mean, that wouldn’t happen? It did happen.
You mean: Sorry I didn’t hit the feel of verisimilitude for you. Yet. And sorry I sounded defensive.
They say: You sound defensive.
You say: Perhaps it’s because you’re being offensive.
They say: It’s just feedback. I don’t mean to be offensive.
You say: I guess I’m a delicate doily…or being offensive just comes really easy to you. Clod.
They say: Let me hit you over the head with the fact that I’m a teacher (or I’ve been published somewhere and you haven’t or as my good friend Norman Mailer used to say…)
They mean: Just do what I tell you to do and God, isn’t my voice a lovely basso profundo?
They say: Needs one more polish and you’re done. Have you thought about sending it to X magazine?
They mean: Good for you. Damn I wish I’d written that.
They say: I suck.
They mean: Somebody throw me a bone here and tell me one thing you liked about my story or I’m not coming back cuz I just can’t stand it anymore.
They say: You suck.
They mean: You shredded my favorite story last week. Payback, bitch!
They say: That’s the best story ev-er! Ev-er!
They mean: And you’re critiquing my story next! Mercy Master!
They say: I don’t understand the connection from here to there.
They mean: I wasn’t really listening.
They say: Your writing is very muscular and you know…workmanlike prose.
They mean: It’s too readable. I hate it.
They say: I hate epiphanies.
They mean: Your epiphany was banal or your story isn’t depressing enough to suit my worldview because no ending should ever connote trancendance because that would mean there is hope for the human race.
They say: It’s good but no agent or editor will ever touch that.
They mean: That’s really bad.
OR
They mean: It’s no good for agents or editors without vision who are constantly trying to catch up with the last publishing trend.
They say: Your writing is good but your subject/genre isn’t hot in market right now.
They mean: Once everybody else publishes it, then we’ll concede it had value but for now we’ll pee all over your efforts.
They say: Your writing is very accessible.
They mean: They could understand it and enjoyed it.
OR
They mean: They could understand it too easily which means you’re a commercial writer and therefore unworthy of their time.
They say: I don’t get it.
They mean: I don’t get it.
OR
I’m high.
They say: Far out! Man, that was like…I don’t know…you know…
They mean: I am incapable of expressing myself and I meant to sign up for the hemp macrame class but it was full. Also, I’m high.
They say: Nothing but once in awhile you catch more than one or two people rolling their eyes so hard it looks like they might strain something.
They mean: You’re the hobbyist in the class who is, in their opinion, truly hopeless. They’re right.
They say: Something consistently unhelpful .
They mean: Who cares? That’s all they’ve got. They’re negative clods who will not help you in your career. And if they’re so shit hot, what are they doing in a group with you? Shouldn’t they be off somewhere exotic turning down calls from the Nobel committee?
They say: Something constructive and consistently helpful.
They mean: I consistently say something helpful to you because you’re helping me. Why don’t we ditch a bunch of these opinionated bozos, go have a coffee after group and become each other’s readers? I get you. You get me. Let’s lose all these people who don’t get us and exchange stories and finally have a voice we know is worth our trust? Also, if you don’t give me 3,000 words a week I’ll really bitch you out. Please do the same for me.
(Keep an eye out for these Theys. They could be really useful to your career.)
They say: I didn’t write anything this week.
They mean: I’m just here to snipe at others and refuse to put myself out there.
They say: Your story had a compelling sense of place.
They mean: I couldn’t bring myself to read that shit but I have to say something.
They say: The twist ending (or revelation or change in character or the emotion) felt too easily achieved/melodramatic or cheap.
They mean: what they said.
They could have a point. Maybe they don’t. Maye you underwrote it or overwrote it. Whatever they say or mean, remember this:
YOU GET THE LAST SAY.
All art is subjective. Don’t take any critique too seriously. Listen and then do what makes sense to you. You must write for yourself first.
BONUS:
They say: Thank you for all your suggestions. I can’t wait to go home and implement all of them..even the ones that contradict each other.
They mean: I have no dignity and no judgement of my own.
Filed under: manuscript evaluation, Writers, writing tips, critique, critique group decoder, critique groups, fiction, writers, writing, writing critique
06/01/2010 • 11:22 PM 2
Publishers want their authors to have these platforms, and with them an established following before they launch a book. They don’t have the skills, resources or inclination to go viral, but they do expect authors to shoulder that job. A good manuscript isn’t going to be enough for publishers, especially as the tech wave gathers strength. Publishers will be changing their expectations because non-English publishers are leading the charge to a revolutionized industry. They want you to have a website, a platform and a ready-made fan base (for the same reasons Hollywood keeps redoing old but familiar formulae, making movies out of old TV shows with varied success.)
This is not news, but it largely applied to non-fiction writers. Now many publishers are expecting the same electronically interactive wizardry from fiction writers as well. You still have to be a good writer, but your teeth should be straight and you should be comfortable in front of a live studio audience. It’s preferable that you be a gorgeous celebrity, so get to work on that if you haven’t already been interviewed by Regis Philbin.
The best case scenario for non-fiction writers is an area of expertise, a writing track record, a platform (preferably with a lot of speaking engagements to large groups.) The killer outline in their book proposal is a must, but so is a business plan and a business case.
For fiction writers, publishers are going to be looking for many of these elements soon if they aren’t already. In other words, it’s more important than ever that you be ready to do the work of getting the book known. Advances used to be there so the author could eat while he finishes the book. More publishers will expect you to eat bark off trees and use that advance to hire a publicist and do your own tour of the Midwest, thanks very much, possibly in the actual Partridge Family bus.
The economic crunch will mean fewer books. It may also mean better books, but smaller promotional budgets. No matter. Those budgets were barely there unless it was for a book that didn’t need it anyway. (Read: King or Koontz.) As a result, more authors will flee to what smaller publishers who are left, or go DIY.
And what’s next beyond that? A writer friend of mine is writing literary travelogues on his Blackberry. The length of each epistle is determined by the limit of the text message file so it makes for nice uniform chapters. It turns out he’s ahead of his time. Cell phone novels are huge in Japan. They’re typically written on trains ( it’s a commuting culture) by urban young woman from age 15 to 24. Then they are uploaded to websites and followings grow. These romances (featuring lots of sex and violence in fairly simple language) have been picked up by eager publishers who get the cell novels to bookshelves, often at lengths of 300-400 pages. Many of the authors didn’t even consider themselves writers when they started out. Now they’re in bookstores all over Japan. Nobody’s doing something that innovative among the big publishers yet. Look for the phenomenon to catch on in a year or two, and expect it to be reviled by critics who’ll long for the dusty and respectable old days. Meanwhile the kids will eat ’em up.
Self-publishing houses getting more sophisticated. If they are smart–and they’re smaller so they’ll change quicker than the big guns–they’ll work harder to assist authors in promoting themselves. DIY is going huge. Much of publishing promotion has always been DIY since marketing budgets have always been miniscule. The person most interested in selling the author’s books is always the author, anyway. That may mean Do It Yourself marketing, or maybe it means you’ll go whole hog and form your own publishing company with the shipping department organized in your mom’s garage. Or maybe you’ll have no inventory and go Print on Demand in full.
More good news: the short story is coming back. Your audience has a shorter attention span and lots of distractions. They want to read something quick over lunch or on their commute. They’ll take short fiction with them on their MP3 and IPOD. You can serialize your fiction on your nifty new website to keep them coming back for more.
Big changes are coming and if you’re tech-savvy, you might have a good shot over the rest of the herd. If you aren’t tech-savvy, you’ll have to pay to get someone else to do it. Maybe you can teach yourself a bunch of website skills on YouTube.
Another fresh resource: a book on establishing your platform before you send your manuscript is out by the woman behind Writer Mama. It’s called Get Known before the Book Deal by Christian Katz. I recommend you have a look. No sense letting everyone have another advantage over you.
How will you survive the coming Publishing Apocalypse? It’s up to you. Literally.
Filed under: Publicity & Promotion, publishing, Rant, Writers, DIY, future of publishng, self-promotion
Winner of Writer's Digest's 2014 Honorable Mention in Self-published Ebook Awards in Genre
The first 81 lessons to get your Buffy on
More lessons to help you survive Armageddon
"You will laugh your ass off!" ~ Maxwell Cynn, author of Cybergrrl
Fast-paced terror, new threats, more twists.
An autistic boy versus our world in free fall
Suspense to melt your face and play with your brain.
Action like a Guy Ritchie film. Funny like Woody Allen when he was funny.
Jesus: Sexier and even more addicted to love.
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