I grew up watching Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee movies. (All other movies, too since I worked at a video store.)
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My favorite Chuck Norris movie has to be An Eye for An Eye in which Chuck and Mako beat the crap out of 35 guys who attack them in Mako’s home (with Uzis.) Chuck takes out only 25 (wimp!) and Mako kills the rest. They massacre the bad guys with their bare hands, a throwing knife, lots of kicking and the base of a telephone (which were heavier and more lethal then. Don’t try to knock anybody out with your cell phone these days.)
At the end of this scene of carnage, the livingroom is littered with bodies. Then Chuck says, “Well, I better get going. Got a dental appointment” or something lame and leaves Mako to deal with the copious corpses. Chuck is a nice guy overall, but not the kind of friend you call on to help you move apparently. San Francisco must have an awesome recycling program.
The funniest Chuck movie has to be The Octagon. Lee Van Cleef shows up here and there, no doubt thinking he had been in better movies. The thing that makes me giggle is that throughout the movie Chuck does a voice over of many of his ninja thoughts as he wanders around. The device is so over-used that I end up filling in the next whispered thought. For instance:
Can I beat him?
Takura, where are you? I sense you are here…
If not for me, Takura would never have met her and she’d still be alive…
I feel guilty…
Did I turn off the stove?
Do I need to buy more eggs?
Filed under: movies, Unintentionally hilarious, Chuck Norris movies, movie reviews
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