UPDATE: And now it’s time to vote for
the wittiest and pithiest entries in the
The Six Words or Less Contest
Choose your favorite from the comment thread below and e-mail your first choice to expartepress AT gmail DOT com.
Voting closes August 10. Three winners will be chosen.
The grand prize winner will get in my next thriller, Higher Than Jesus. (Details below.)
Click to get Bigger Than Jesus here
I’m holding a contest that could get your name in my new thriller.
The follow-up to my crime novel, Bigger Than Jesus is called Higher Than Jesus and it’s coming this fall.
Here’s the challenge: My hit man passes a homeless person in the street and gives him some money. The homeless person wears a black hoodie. I want something catchy and memorable on that hoodie. I thought about making an inside joke and making it a Self-help for Stoners emblem (my first book). I considered using a meme that’s already out there but kind of hipster, like the inside joke from Portal: There is no cake.
But no, I’m calling on the readership! What’s the short, punchy, pithy, memorable phrase that should adorn that black hoodie on the homeless guy on a cold winter’s night in Chicago? It could be funny. It could be pointed and political. Let’s hear it!
Leave your suggestion in the comment thread.
What do you get for your contribution?
(Yes, there is metaphorical cake!)
The winner gets lots of that cake!
“You will laugh your ass off! The skill of a journalist with the flair of a stand up comedian.” ~ Author Maxwell Cyn
A. I can name a character after you in Higher Than Jesus. (No guarantees whether the character will be good or bad, alive or dead. It’s crime fiction. I don’t have many characters who are good or get to live.)
B. When I get the print edition, I’ll send you a free autographed copy wherever you are in the world.
C. I’ll gift you a copy of the kindle ebook as soon as it’s available.
D. On my podcast, I’ll mention the top three entries and the grand prize winner will be exalted. Your name and your six words or less will be talked about in glowing terms.
E. BONUS: For the overall winner with the best six words or less, I’ll promote your book, business, favorite charity, website, podcast, pet’s name, shout out or whatever on my podcast (as long as the thing you want to promote isn’t some psycho white supremacist thing. Sounds good, yes?)
Please leave your suggestions in comments. On August 1, I’ll ask for a vote for the top three, so somebody’s getting bragging rights no matter what. Let’s have some fun with this. (I have to reserve the right to not use the top phrase in case there’s a legal or editorial reason not to use it, but the grand prize winner still gets the sweet cake of A, B and C. The decision of the judge — that’s me — is final since it’s my name on the book. No purchase necessary, void where prohibited and all that crap. I can’t think of any other rules we need, but I’ll make them up if necessary. Hopefully that won’t be necessary.)
With the details out of the way, have at it! This will be fun. Submit as much as you’d like.
Check out all the books by Robert Chazz Chute here.
Impress us with freshness and originality.
Make us laugh.
Make us think.
Just, please, do it in no more than six words. Thanks!
~Robert Chazz Chute is the author of Self-help for Stoners, Bigger Than Jesus, The Dangerous Kind & Other Stories, and Sex, Death & Mind Control (for fun and profit). Learn more at the author site or see the fun Amazon bio here.
Related articles
- UBC #15: What’s missing from this thriller’s back matter? (chazzwrites.com)
- UBC #23: Loves & hates & the Fab Blog Award (chazzwrites.com)
- Have you written a crime, thriller or psychological suspense novel? (madeleinemilburn.com)
- UBC #14: Smart Free means Give it Away and Bank On It (chazzwrites.com)
- UBC TOP TEN: Everything we know is wrong. Stop That! (chazzwrites.com)
- Author Blog Challenge 18: The Top Ten Reasons You (yes! You!) crave this book (chazzwrites.com)
- PODCAST: Bigger Than Jesus Chapter 1 (allthatchazz.com)
- Top Ten: My best fight (chazzwrites.com)
Filed under: publishing, Amazon Kindle, Bigger than Jesus, Chicago, Contest, contest winner, crime fiction, crime novel, fiction, grand prize winner, memorable phrase, Podcast, prizes, Robert Chazz Chute, self-help for stoners, six words or less contest, stoner, Ultimate Blog Challenge
C h a z z W r i t e s . c o m 
[…] prizes for the overall winner. Check out the details and leave your witty suggestions in this comment thread at ChazzWrites.com. Please click it to grab the gripping, funny crime thriller by Robert Chazz […]
“Ezekiel 25:17”
Might be too much of a stretch for readers, it was the first thing that popped into my head. =D
(BTW This is an inspired giveaway! Brilliant!)
“The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.”
Very clever! Love it! Folks, the gauntlet is thrown down! Keep it coming. Make it rain gauntlets!
How about the phrase, “My Other House is a WInnebago.” – I like the irony of it all 😉
Ha! Good one! I like how this contest is shaping up already! Thanks!
(And a reminder to everyone that multiple entries are just peachy with me!)
This is going to sound crass, but there was a t-shirt back in the day that said “I call all the shots!” and that somehow sounds right up your character’s alley.
Either “But For The Grace Of God”, or “Moral Traffic Light”.
Lemme explain…
Reading this post reminded me of Tom Waits’ part in “The Fisher King”, a guy in a wheelchair who begs for money in Grand Central Station. He tells Jeff Bridges a story about a guy who works every day and gets so wound up, then one day his boss asks him to come in his office and kiss his @$$. The guy decides heck with it, maybe I’d like to see the expression on my boss’ face when I jam these scissors in his arm. Then he realizes he’s got two good arms and two good legs, he doesn’t have to beg for change (like Waits’ character) and puts down the scissors and goes to pucker up.
“You see”, Waits explains, “I’m like a moral traffic light that says ‘Stop. Go no further. Boop boop boop!”
A furore Normannorum libera nos, Domine
It’s an old prayer said by anyone who had a Viking problem in the middle ages.
‘from the fury of the Northmen, deliver us oh Lord’
I lost my soul in Basra
I shoot so you don’t have to
Nice on that side of the fence?
I ate Charlie sheen’s career
I ate Charlie sheen’s heart
I ate Charlie sheen’s balls
Insert semi-profound bullshit here
It’s past your bedtime sweetie
Will eat glass for food
Karma’s a bitch, so’s the ex
Be like Han, shoot first
Mama said I could be a rockstar.
“The Buck Starts Here.”
Sometimes I have to eat frogs.
Good God! How Far Is McDonalds?
OK, a catch phrase my husband and I used to say to each other before going into yet another meeting was: It’s never gonna work, and we’re all gonna die. Since that is more than 6 words, how about: Never gonna work…All gonna die?
My father used to always say: Illegitimus Noncarborundum. I don’t know if it is spelled right, but it means: Don’t let the bas%$#@s make it tough on you….
The buck stops here
All’s well that ends
Everybody was kungfu fighting
Tiptoe through the tulips with me
I gave up smoking for Lent
Another day, another dollar
Reblogged this on fuonlyknew and commented:
Have fun with it!
Reblogged this. Commented: Have fun with it!
Thanks for reblogging this contest and spreading the word! Getting a very nice response as you can see. Can’t wait to see what else people come up with!
Thanks for all the great entries, guys! Keep them coming, and if you can, please give it a tweet, reblog, G+ or FB it. I’d like to have as many entries as possible to choose from, especially since this is a very short contest. Cheers, everyone!
Keep on Keeping On
Let the Fire Burn
Now Comes the Mystery (famous last words by Henry Ward Beecher)
Revelation 6:17
Truth is, we are all doomed.
“My other hoodie is a hoodie”
Is there anybody there?
Homeless do it on the street.
My other hoodie’s a North Face.
This is debt free in America
Everything is not as it appears
This hoodie used to be white
i always read the ending first
Jamaican me crazy.
Can’t stop the reefer
Can’t stop the reaper.
D.A.R.E. keeping kids off drugs.
Life is good.
Haters gonna hate.
Welcome to the Jungle
Home grown (picture of a pot leaf)
Lead me not into temptation
Eat sh_t and live
You said what?
My other house-the White House
Fire Inside
Times are changing, are you?
Caution, Fire Inside
Home is Where the Heart is
Got Change?
AFLAC!
You Are in Good Hands with Allstate
My address is here
Got Change?
AFLAC!
Home is where the heart is
Where’s the beef?
You are in good hands with Allstate
See the world
Got Milk?
Progressive Insurance
Occupy Main Street
“Guns don’t kill people, bullets do” (an anti-gun control philosophy a hit man might appreciate)
Home is where the drugs are
All heart? Donate here
How high is up?
How far is down?
Will work if you mend me
You tucha me I sticka you
Let them eat pot
Guns don’t kill people, Rappers do
A lyric from a band called ‘Goldie Looking Chain’
[…] Enter the Six Words or Less Contest and get your name in Higher Than Jesus, my next crime thriller in The Hit Man Series. […]
My submission: He Who Lives By The Sword
He was garbage. I’m the truck.
…a stain you can’t rub out.
The tiger should be real. (Reference to Life of Pi)
[…] the entries to the Six Words of Less Contest rolled in, I was surprised how several tied in with religious themes. You can vote for your […]
[…] to vote for the best entry in The Six Words or Less Contest? Check out all the entries in the comments thread HERE and email your favorite to expartepress AT gmail DOT […]
[…] for the SIx Words or Less Contest Closes Soon Just a reminder that the voting closes in the Six Words or Less Contest on August 10. Go to the comment thread, take in the brilliance and vote for the wittiest and […]